Relationships are complex and adding financial stress into the mix complicates things even further. Arguments about money are the leading cause of relationship breakdowns and if couples can find a way to reduce financial stress and avoid conflict over money, the chances of a successful relationship are greatly enhanced.
When two
people come together from different backgrounds, they usually have different attitudes towards money or different money personalities. That's because your money personality is shaped by a number of factors relative to your upbringing and past experiences. These different money personalities reveal different attitudes towards spending and saving, debt, financial risk, and building wealth. It is important to remember that when it comes to personalities, there is no right and wrong - just different.
The best way to deal with differences is to first identify what they are, then to acknowledge them with acceptance and discuss how they can be taken into account. Opposite personalities, such as spenders and savers or risk-takers and risk-avoiders, require compromise and boundaries. A spender can be given freedom to spend up to a certain limit, or a risk-taker can be given an agreed amount of money with which to speculate.
Problems occur when there is no compromise, when boundaries are not set and more importantly when people do not acknowledge or understand the consequences of their actions. A spender may incur large debts without thinking about how the debts are going to be repaid.
In a good relationship, each person acts in such a way as to cause minimal negative impact on the other. Agreeing on financial goals is a great place to start so that you are both working towards the same outcomes with regard to your income and your assets.
Liz Koh is an authorised financial adviser. The advice given here is general and does not constitute specific advice to any person. A disclosure statement can be obtained free of charge by calling 0800 273 847.
www.moneymaxcoach.com
