Dannevirke woman helping other grandparents raising grandchildren

Robyn Hargreaves, from Dannevirke, has been raising her grandson since he was a baby and is a co-ordinator for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, helping other grandparents raising their grandchildren.

Robyn Hargreaves probably wasn’t expecting to become a grandparent in her 40s.

And she probably wasn’t expecting to have to raise her grandson, Kaayden, now 11.

But since he was only a few months old, Robyn has taken on the responsibility of sole caregiver and it’s something she has become acutely aware of since joining Grandparents Raising Grandchildren.

Now the co-ordinator for the Tararua District, Robyn, who lives in Dannevirke, says she had no idea about the organisation, which became a charitable trust more than 20 years ago, according to its website.

“A really close friend of mine told me,” she says.

She looked at the website and became a member. Then last year, she saw the organisation was looking for co-ordinators in different areas and decided to help out.

Co-ordinators are given a base grant of $1000 which they can use to help support other grandparents and whānau carers raising children, but Robyn says if she wants extra funds for such things as coffee mornings, bringing in a guest speaker, or for a Christmas party, she has to source that funding herself.

More than 6000 grandparents and carers are members of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren but Robyn doesn’t know if there are more and she’s keen to raise awareness. “We’re trying to get ourselves known so we can help people.”

Robyn believes the support is needed for a number of reasons such as tapping into knowledge on how to access benefits or deal with any legal issues.

“I have learnt the hard way on my own and I want to give back to the grandparents that are going [through] these scenarios.”

Often the children in these situations are in care because of parental problems.

“We’re looking at trauma, abuse, a whole host of issues and sometimes it’s not just one issue as well. That is why we have these children. To keep them safe, to keep them healthy, to be a support that their parents cannot give them.”

Robyn says taking on a grandchild can also be financially taxing as sometimes grandparents don’t qualify for legal aid.

“A lot of them are retired and they’re financially struggling. And it’s really hard because it’s not just one of them. It’s all of us.”

While her job, which is unpaid, is as co-ordinator, Robyn says she does more than that, such as finding beds or dressers because the grandparents might not have the furniture to spare.

She says she’s grateful to the Dannevirke Lion’s Den group which will often find something for her.

She may also be called on to support the grandparents in family group conferences or meetings with lawyers and she adds it’s not about telling them what to do but to be there to support them.

She will also look for other ways to provide support, such as winter pyjamas or Christmas shoe boxes but at times she might overlook her own needs.

“It’s really hard because you know I’m that grandparent raising a grandchild as well and I have to remember that includes me.

“It doesn’t exclude me because I’m a co-ordinator. I’m part of this journey that other people are on.”

While it hasn’t been an easy journey, Robyn is grateful.

“I see myself as blessed.”

She says it’s all about trying to raise healthy, strong, independent, resilient children to adults who will cope with life and what may happen on their journeys forward.