CROQUET: Noel had male pride to defend

HAMISH BIDWELL
Noel Charteris isn't being vain when he tells you that his croquet has improved out of sight. It's simply a concession to the fact that his masculine pride couldn't take any more batterings.
"I'd done quite a lot of athletics and cycling over the year, but I was looking for a sport that my wife and I could play at the same time," Charteris explained.
"We had a bit of a look around and decided to give croquet a go, after all, I thought 'how hard could it be, it's an old ladies' game?' However, I was in a for a bit of a rude awakening.
"The problem for me I guess, is that I was disadvantaged by the fact that far more women than men are involved in the game and when you're getting started, that means you get plenty of practice at getting beaten by women. I started off three years ago on a 22-handicap, but I'm down to a nine now."
And while that means he's winning more often that he loses these days, even Charteris' greatest croquet achievement was tempered by a reminder that he still has a long way to go.
"I played in the Arthur Ross tournament down in Wellington where each of the 12 provinces in New Zealand have a representative," he said.
"I had a really good handicap at the start of the year and got selected to represent Hawke's Bay. I actually got into the semifinals down there. But wouldn't you know it, I got beaten by a woman."
While Charteris keeps his tongue firmly in his cheek when discussing his battles with the fairer sex, he is fair dinkum when he talks about how taxing the genteel-looking sport can be.
"It does take quite a lot of work," he said.
"A competition game takes three hours and when I played in Wellington, we had three games on the first day. That's nine hours and then we had two games on the second day. It's a long time to be on the green and you have to be quite fit, although at the end of the day you're probably more mentally exhausted than physically.
"It's a very technical game and it takes a long time just to learn to hit the ball.
"You've got 12 hoops and you have to get through them twice in a set order and while, sometimes, you might do all 12 hoops in one turn, it might take you an hour to get the ball through one hoop another time.
"But I have to say that I do enjoy playing a sport where both men and women can be involved and it's a terrific social environment as well."