AFTER all, if the Old and New Testaments are anything to go by, Jesus did, in a stroke of miracle, turn water into wine at a wedding in Galilee.
As a child from a Hindu family lapping up everything a solid Catholic education system could offer, I never could make much sense of that among other oxymorons we went through dogmatically in the Bible at school chapels.
But I can only imagine how difficult it must be to appear before national TV to admit: "I'm an alcoholic."
For that, Hawke's Bay Magpie Zac Guildford deserves plaudits, for his own well-being if nothing else.
It must be harder than any hit he has taken on the rugby field or the most rigorous training he has undergone with Magpies fitness trainer Grant Dearns.
Alcoholism is nothing but a scourge of society. It's a disease, arguably causing more prolonged pain and anguish than any form of drugs.
I don't confess to know Guildford, although in the few times I have interviewed him he came across as a gentlemen.
The last time I saw him, he was a spectator at a Magpies' training session at Tremain Field, Park Island.
He smiled politely, nodded and said hello before playfully opting to get under the skin of Hika Elliot.
It couldn't have been easy dealing with the death of his father, Rob, watching him play in the Under-20 World Championship in Tokyo in 2009.
The effects of that on his mother, Deb, and family is something few will ever fully comprehend, let alone decipher.
But the former All Black winger is 24 and, at some stage, the penny has to drop.
In many ways, his life mirrors that of another famous Bay talent, Jesse Ryder.
It has taken "health issues" and exceptional willpower for Ryder to deal with his drinking demons.
It'll be no different for Guildford no matter how much money he spends and what fancy rehabilitation centre he chooses.
Ultimately the Napier Technical club player will, like Ryder, want to pull himself out of that crucial phase of self-denial.
No doubt, New Zealand Rugby Union (NZRU) needed to act when it was painfully obvious Guildford was spotted imbibing with race-goers in Auckland late last year.
For the record, I don't confess to know his partner, Sam Spratt, either, although I have interviewed the jockey a few times at the Hawke's Bay Racecourse after race meetings and know she is equally affable.
It can't be healthy for Guildford to be mingling in a circle of socialites, not to mention a culture of gambling, which is a subject I will not broach.
When I first heard about his new-found environment, I openly said it wasn't a case of if but when he was going to trip again following his much-publicised alcohol-fuelled antics at Rarotonga in the Cook Islands in 2011, his World Cup misdemeanour and the alleged assault incident in Christchurch in January.
While his "medical condition" isn't common knowledge, suffice it to say bingeing on M&Ms is a smarter move than any slick manoeuvre he has or will ever make in any backline.
What is amusing is the NZRU's "several conditions", which shall remain confidential, Guildford has to adhere to.
I mean what could they possibly say?
"If you are really tempted to have a swig please ensure it is diluted with fizzy or soft drink.
"Ensure that on recycling days you sneak out the night before to plant the empty bottles and cans in your neighbours' bins."
It begs the question: "How much of the NZRU decision is to do with helping Todd Blackadder get his Crusaders out of the doldrums?"
It's up there with the madness of clearing Conrad Smith of concussion to make the trip to South Africa with Mark Hammett and his Hurricanes.
Guildford's confession is a timely lesson for other talented rookies in the block from any code anywhere in the world.
Black Caps cricketer Doug Bracewell must quickly wise up to who he should surround himself with let alone take in as flatmates.
It scarcely matters how he cut his foot and how implausible any explanation may sound well after the fact because the pain of missing test selection and income will hurt more.
Magpie and Chiefs prop Ben Tameifuna is also an ambassador of the evils of alcohol.
It's interesting how a wine-growing region such as Hawke's Bay can unwittingly lay claim to nurturing emerging talent who keep falling foul of alcohol.
Maybe the Eastern Institute of Technology should consider introducing a course on avowing alcoholism.
It should take off quicker than any proposed plans on direct international flights from the region's domestic airport.
One thing's for sure. We won't be short of motivational guest speakers sharing their experiences to discourage the young and the restless from straying into their lonely and dark alleyways.