OPINION
I absolutely defend the right of people to protest; if it’s not violent or personally abusive, then it’s an integral part of living in a democracy.
But surely any protester with a modicum of decency would not choose to picket outside someone’s wedding. Even if I believed in their cause, my support would be gone.
So to the placard-bearers outside the Ardern-Gayford wedding on the weekend, I say you chose very badly. Especially distasteful was the one who borrowed a hallowed Anzac phrase and began his placard message with “Lest we forget …” Tasteless, tactless, disrespectful.
And it was a private rather than a political gathering anyway so wasn’t the protest somewhat misguided?
I first heard about the protesters when I was in a local service station where a woman was expressing her feelings about the protesters she had just driven past. When I arrived home I found media confirmation of this.
My first thought was the hope that the wedding menu would feature a main course of rotisseried protesters. Of course, I would not really wish that fate on anybody but disgust breeds strange out-of-character fantasies.
I couldn’t help wondering whether the protesters did funerals too.
So I hope Jacinda and Clarke and all their guests did not even rate these people as trifling irritations on the periphery. I hope they simply had a great day and enjoyed a special occasion despite the placard-bearers, the helicopters and the telephoto lenses poking through the surrounding shrubbery.
This is, I feel, a fitting time to enjoy some witty or clever protest placard messages from around the globe so I’ve gathered some together for your enjoyment. Please be respectful by not displaying any of these at weddings or funerals.
GENERIC ANGRY SLOGAN
I’M SO ANGRY I MADE A SIGN
I WAS TOLD THERE WOULD BE CAKE
THE PEOPLE BEHIND ME CAN’T SEE
STOP PREMATURE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS
For successful understatement it would be hard to beat:
I AM A LITTLE UPSET
Or, for a little homely and comforting positivity amidst a sea of complaints:
A LOT OF THINGS ARE ACTUALLY GOING PRETTY WELL
For delightfully innocent and honest contrast, how about this one from a young kid amidst a sea of grown-up political protesters:
I (HEART) TRAINS
Brevity and conciseness are obviously important in the world of placardry (I made up that word):
IF YOUR BELIEFS FIT ON A SIGN, THINK HARDER
I HOLD SOME VERY STRONG OPINIONS BUT NONE OF THEM ARE SIMPLISTIC ENOUGH TO BE ADEQUATELY EXPRESSED ON THIS PLACARD BUT IF YOU’D LIKE TO FIND OUT MORE FEEL FREE TO ENGAGE ME IN A CALM AND INTELLIGENT DISCUSSION
From media photos from outside the wedding venue, I noticed that some protesters certainly didn’t know about brevity and conciseness either. If the idea is to target passing motorists, the message must be snappy, the effect instant. Some I saw would have required people to find a parking spot (difficult) then go right up to the sign and put on their reading glasses.
So, I have no idea whether their grievance was climate change, penguins, vegetarianism, electric cars, plastic packaging or Winston Peters.
I accept this – particularly the beginning – has all perhaps been a little too serious for a space devoted to things light-hearted so the least I can do is end with a protest joke.
Reporter: The protesters are holding signs ridiculing the lockdown. From the white coats and stethoscopes, I’d say there are some doctors here too.
Anchorperson: What do their signs say?
Reporter: I can’t tell. I can’t read the handwriting.
Sorry, must dash now. I’ve got some basting to do at the rotisserie.