Wyn Drabble.
This week I celebrated yet another birthday. Perhaps celebrated isn't quite the word though I did enjoy a beverage. Or two.
You don't so much celebrate at this end of the timeline; rather, you resign yourself to the fact that you have taken another step closer to ... no, I'm not going to say it. I'm going to remain positive. There are lots of positives about being this age and I'll get back to you just as soon as I can think of one.
Prince George can be far more positive about his birthday this week because he is at the other end of the timeline. He turned 3 and has probably never heard the phrase "transience of life".
He has probably never heard of arthritis either. Or liver spots. Or forgetting that you've already said something. Or have I already said that?
I was interested in Prince George's presents. I thought they might remind me of mine when I was 3. I know I certainly didn't get given a Bolonka Zwetna. I had to wait until well into later adulthood to experience the joy of a dog and even then I made sure I got one I could spell.
You'd think George's parents could have been more up with the play though. I'm sure that, in this technological age, the modern child would prefer a digital dog. Robotic pets are big news with today's kids; puppies which bark, whimper and, no doubt, piddle; fish which imitate the movements of real fish.
Real Bolonka Zwetnas are very energetic and playful but you can't turn them off. Or buy add-on apps to make them chew toys rather than furniture.
Prince George is also keen on balls and ball-related sports so he will be receiving various balls. I CAN imagine receiving at least one ball when I was 3. It was probably a brightly-coloured rubber one.
Clearly, technology hasn't made it big in the royal household. Apparently George was also getting a Hornby train set and those were around when I was 3. I had one and it was far more interesting than modern screen devices twittering and snapchatting away.
My train used to go round and round and round and round and round and round. I'm sure George's does too. What fun!
Prince Charles gave George an Aston Martin. Not a real one! A mini one. From memory, I might have had a pedal car but I can say with certainty that it did not bear an Aston Martin badge. Probably an Austin.
I think George had two parties; one at William and Catherine's home in Norfolk and another at Balmoral with pony rides.
We only had the one house so my party would have been a single-venue affair with paper party hats and three candles in a cake. No pony rides.
George's party illustrates that, in royal quarters at least, tradition is alive and well. I suppose when he's a little older, George will want Pokemon Go but for now it's the puppy, balls, a pedal car and pony rides.
I wonder how happy non-royal kids would be with those offerings. I feel they would long for more technology.
I'd like to check in on George in a decade or two just to see whether his wishes have become a little more technological. I can't predict what the toys might be because the digital world is changing too quickly but chances are high that he will have a driverless car. And a virtual girlfriend.
As for the positive I promised " for my birthday, I got socks (though I must admit the joy was tinged with regret because I was hoping for hankies).
- Wyn Drabble is a teacher of English, a writer, musician and public speaker.