If retail outlets are an indicator, the 'festive season' probably starts about Labour Weekend, reckons Wyn Drabble.
If retail outlets are an indicator, the 'festive season' probably starts about Labour Weekend, reckons Wyn Drabble.
I felt it timely to explore alternative words and phrases we can choose to describe Christmas when we feel we are in danger of overusing that word.
Or offending someone with a different set of beliefs.
Let me make it perfectly clear right from the outset that I will notbe including "holiday" or "holiday season" as options. These are vacuous attempts by the politically correct brigade to avoid offence to anyone.
But I'm anyone and they cause offence to me.
Why? Simply because they are so vacuous. A holiday is not a festivity or a celebration worthy of a special greeting card. Avoiding the C-word so as not to offend followers of other systems of belief is PC gone mad.
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Person 2: No, we're just going with a Christmas ham.
Wyn Drabble this week ponders alternative words and phrases we can choose to describe Christmas.
Nor will I be including "Xmas" as an option. This word is an abbreviation atrocity and smacks of linguistic laziness. That is the only time this word will be appearing in this column. If use of it becomes imperative, I shall simply refer to it as the X-word. Or holiday protein.
So there, I've got that weight off my shoulders and now, because I have no cross to bear, will be able to tuck in, guilt-free, to the Christmas ham and then shop till I drop at the Boxing Day sales.
"The festive season" is quite a popular term though the defining dates are a little unclear. If shop windows are anything to go by, it probably starts about Labour weekend and runs through to some time in January.
"Yule" and "Yuletide" are other possibilities but, to me, both sound quaintly old-fashioned. I think proffering "Merry Yuletide" to someone might elicit the sneered response, "Whatever!"
"Noel" is another option though it requires special keyboard skills to get the two little dots over the "e" as my effort has illustrated. These little dots are "homoglyphic diacritical marks used in a diaeresis, (or trema) and an umlaut" so it should be clear that we need to move away from them with all haste.
I for one have no wish to be told that my homoglyphic diacritical marks are showing.
We could refer to Christmas as "silly riddle time" but focusing on crackers alone ignores other important elements such as tinsel and turkey.
About the only other option I can think of is "nativity" but I feel that's just too limiting. While I accept that the birth itself was a key moment, I feel the term we use should embrace more than just contractions, the appearance of a tiny head and swaddling clothes.
I think the ideal term should also be inclusive of such concepts as "manger", "myrrh" and "ongoing festivities".
Maybe we're stuck with "the festive season" but I feel that is just a little too vague. For many people "the festive season" could be defined as "most weekends".
So, what has all this discussion done for me? Well, for one, it has made me wish I hadn't started thinking about it.
It has also firmed my resolve to avoid "safe" greetings such as, "Warmest holiday wishes" or "Happy whatever doesn't offend you".
After I have decked my attire with boughs of holly, bedecked my body with baubles, draped my person with tinsel and stuck a star atop my head, I'm just going to come straight out and say two words to you all.
