Yep, there's a murder on Saturday, out there in the pretty rural lands of Blighty, and there's another one on Sunday, again in the pretty rural lands of Blighty.
Is it something in the water?
Could it be a dodgy bore or maybe taints of animal refuse from upstream ... oh let's not go down that path just now.
I think it is more in the pen (or the key-tapping fingers) of the folk who make a bob out of writing scripts ... scripts about murders.
The one which intrigues me most of all is Saturday's brush with something very bad for it is based in the picturesque and (on the surface) peaceful little rural village of Midsomer.
Everyone there appears to be honest, decent and true and conversations are far from country bumpkin material.
Lots of higher class chaps and ladies appear to live there in Midsomer ... but some of them are not as honest, decent and true as their appearances tend to indicate.
For on the weekends of murders there are ... murders.
It is a wonder there is anyone left alive there in pleasant little Midsomer as the attrition rate is more than modest.
So this Saturday Nelson and Barnaby are called to investigate the mysterious death of a chap called Toby.
Mysterious indeed, for he drowned ... in what appears to be a bowl of eggs and eels.
Oh yes, only in Midsomer.
And then Sunday comes around and the gentle rural lands of England are again staked out by forensic teams and chin-rubbing detectives.
Led by a lad called Lewis, which is also the title of the show, although describing the murder of a college dean whose body is uncovered in some woods as a "show" is arguably poor form.
More so when one considers that beside the body of the unfortunate scholar is a note which indicates he will not be the last to fall at the hands of the killer.
There are three more lined up.
Crikey ... if it's not the country water then there must be something in the country air.
The weekend line-up also has a dose of New Tricks where old cold case murders are pursued as well as a crime comedy called Psych which focuses on ... yep, murder.
Hopefully not in the country at least.
However, there is a peaceful light on the rural horizon and it shines on Saturday on TV1 in the form of Country Calendar.
And the only loss of life in this long-running often colourful slice of life outside the city limits is possums.
The focus is on a farmer up Kawhia way who raises sheep with a slight difference, in that he basically hand-rears the lambs.
He also traps possums and he also gets the old guitar out from time to time and writes and sings country songs, some of which he ends up recording.
A nice world away from weekend murders.
● Country Calendar, TV1 at 7pm Saturday: No homicide detectives were harmed in the making of this programme.
ON THE BOX
● Motorway Patrol, TV2 at 8.30pm Thursday: This evening is TV2's thin blue line time ... with a sort of side-helping thrown in. This is the "on the road" slice of the equation where the troops watch over the roadways, and deal with the often unexpected. Like where a patrol comes across a couple of arm wrestlers. Aptly enough, what follows is one of those public-sourced "did you see that?" shows about crazy collisions and breath-stopping prangs as seen, and recorded, from dashcams. I daresay the motorway patrols have seen a few in terms of gathering evidence. Starting the "blitz" though is Police Ten 7 at 7.30.
● The Graham Norton Show, TV3 at 8.30pm Friday: There is a very wide and diverse landscape of well-known faces out there, and the producers of Mr Norton's weekly gatherings are very good at casting their nets across it. And one of those nets reached our part of the land with actor and winemaker Sam Neill one of the guests on this outing. He joins Miranda Hart, Danny DeVito, John Bishop and Amber Riley. Good opportunity to get a plug in for Hunt for the Wilderpeople as well as a couple of fine pinot noir vintages from Neill's Twin Paddocks winery down there in Central Otago. Mr Norton, of course, enjoys a wine and has stakes in one over here at Te Kauwhata.
