Hawkes Bay Today
  • Hawke's Bay Today home
  • Latest news
  • Sport
  • Business
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Property
  • Video
  • Death notices
  • Classifieds

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • On The Up
  • Sport
  • Business
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Residential property listings
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology

Locations

  • Napier
  • Hastings
  • Havelock North
  • Central Hawke's Bay
  • Tararua

Media

  • Video
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-Editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

Weather

  • Napier
  • Hastings
  • Dannevirke
  • Gisborne

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Hawkes Bay Today

The Hits: Santa has got his work cut out this year

By Adam Green
Hawkes Bay Today·
9 Nov, 2021 05:00 PM3 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save
    Share this article

Well, ol' Santa is going to have his work cut out for him this year going through the Christmas letters.

Gone are the regular demands for a radio-control car or a skateboard.

Not in this day and age, if my house is anything to go by Santa better get his Christmas credit card ready for a few Robux, premium streaming services for everyone, and a replacement Chromebook for the one where the charging port just mysteriously fell out of the computer. (I had no idea that computers in quiet kids' rooms that were working perfectly just shed charging ports like a snake sheds skin!)

I've also got the small dilemma of the fact that at bedtime, I've become the voice of one large teddy bear for a seven-year-old.

What started as a one-off game has now become a nightly chat and, furthermore, a request for a teddy bear that can speak even when Dad isn't lending a helping hand.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

We tried to google, but the one version of "talking teddy bears" we could find had weird digital eyes that she decided were more suited to a scary movie than a kid's bedroom so it's back to the drawing board there.

Then poor old Santa has to get to the grown-ups' letters and boy haven't we all seen that he'd have a heck of a time filling out everyone's wishlist!

There's an old saying in the South Pole, and that is, you can please all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but now, thanks to the internet, actually you can't even remotely please all the people all of the time; in fact, if you put a South Pole press release out saying everyone got $1 million for Christmas, there would still be someone to find a way to complain online.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

"Dear Santa, I didn't actually WANT $1 million for Christmas, I wanted $5 million, and if you'd read my letter properly, you'd know that. Just so you know I'll be unsubscribing from South Pole Updates, and I wish I had never given Mariah Carey all those views on YouTube."

Yes indeed it will be a tough month and a bit for the jolly fat man in the big red suit; I only hope he can stay jolly enough to get my letter, and sort me those Robux and a talking teddy bear with regular teddy eyes!
- Adam Green

Save
    Share this article

Latest from Hawkes Bay Today

Hawkes Bay Today

Fire performers, street food, live music: Bid to revitalise Napier CBD after dark

Hawkes Bay Today

Prepare for pyrotechnics: Fireworks business owner joins Hastings mayoralty race

Hawkes Bay Today

Eddie Peters cold case - what you need to know

Watch

Sponsored

Solar bat monitors uncover secrets of Auckland’s night sky

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Hawkes Bay Today

Fire performers, street food, live music: Bid to revitalise Napier CBD after dark
Hawkes Bay Today

Fire performers, street food, live music: Bid to revitalise Napier CBD after dark

The Winter Street Jams will run from 5pm to 8pm, with shops and eateries open late.

22 Jul 03:39 AM
Prepare for pyrotechnics: Fireworks business owner joins Hastings mayoralty race
Hawkes Bay Today

Prepare for pyrotechnics: Fireworks business owner joins Hastings mayoralty race

22 Jul 02:44 AM
Eddie Peters cold case - what you need to know
Hawkes Bay Today

Eddie Peters cold case - what you need to know

Watch
22 Jul 02:33 AM


Solar bat monitors uncover secrets of Auckland’s night sky
Sponsored

Solar bat monitors uncover secrets of Auckland’s night sky

06 Jul 09:47 PM
NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • Hawke's Bay Today e-edition
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Subscribe to the Hawke's Bay Today
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • NZME Events
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP