The Hits: Santa has got his work cut out this year

Well, ol' Santa is going to have his work cut out for him this year going through the Christmas letters.

Gone are the regular demands for a radio-control car or a skateboard.

Not in this day and age, if my house is anything to go by Santa better get his Christmas credit card ready for a few Robux, premium streaming services for everyone, and a replacement Chromebook for the one where the charging port just mysteriously fell out of the computer. (I had no idea that computers in quiet kids' rooms that were working perfectly just shed charging ports like a snake sheds skin!)

I've also got the small dilemma of the fact that at bedtime, I've become the voice of one large teddy bear for a seven-year-old.

What started as a one-off game has now become a nightly chat and, furthermore, a request for a teddy bear that can speak even when Dad isn't lending a helping hand.

We tried to google, but the one version of "talking teddy bears" we could find had weird digital eyes that she decided were more suited to a scary movie than a kid's bedroom so it's back to the drawing board there.

Then poor old Santa has to get to the grown-ups' letters and boy haven't we all seen that he'd have a heck of a time filling out everyone's wishlist!

There's an old saying in the South Pole, and that is, you can please all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but now, thanks to the internet, actually you can't even remotely please all the people all of the time; in fact, if you put a South Pole press release out saying everyone got $1 million for Christmas, there would still be someone to find a way to complain online.

"Dear Santa, I didn't actually WANT $1 million for Christmas, I wanted $5 million, and if you'd read my letter properly, you'd know that. Just so you know I'll be unsubscribing from South Pole Updates, and I wish I had never given Mariah Carey all those views on YouTube."

Yes indeed it will be a tough month and a bit for the jolly fat man in the big red suit; I only hope he can stay jolly enough to get my letter, and sort me those Robux and a talking teddy bear with regular teddy eyes!
- Adam Green