The Hits: It's not my job to pick up after your dog

The Hits DJ's, Adam Green and Megan Banks.

A deep dog doo doo dilemma. That's what I found myself facing as I wrestled the mower from the garage for the fortnightly tidy-up.

I have a dog. A small one made up of a Maltese, shih tzu-toy poodle mix.

A malteshihpoo if you will. Small dogs make small deposits. It's a fact of life. The bigger the dog, the bigger the dropping.

So I usually whip around the yard, baggie in hand to grab any errant mess and drop in in the bin before I begin.

And that's fine! It's my own dog, my responsibility, like when your own child calls from the bathroom at 3 years old, "I'iiiiiim fiiiiininshed!"

You head in there and get the job done. If you have friends over for a coffee and their kid yells out? Their problem.

Because when it's YOURS, it's just part of life. When it's someone, or something else's? Gross.

So herein lays my dilemma. I head to the verge outside my house with the mower, no baggie in hand, and time and time again there is a trail of bum grenades the size of pinecones along the grass.

Not my dog, not my doodoo. But I have to pick it up!

I haven't ever seen a dog roaming the neighbourhood, and I've not seen any off a leash. So it stands to reason the offending owner has said dog on a leash, and that dog has decided that the section of lawn outside my house is the perfect place to pop a squat and like Elsa sang, let it go.

A one-off, I'd be fine with. It happens, you rush out the house, dogs on the leash, no bag in your pocket and then BOOM.

You slink off quietly and apologise in your head, vowing to remember your bag from then on. But this is multiples. A once a day deposit on the regular.

Fix-up suggestions have ranged from a sign, chilli powder, a stakeout, or cameras and lasers. (Which I'm a fan of but budget constraints say no.)

Perhaps a poster on the fence with a PSA - "Hello dog walkers of the neighbourhood. It's great that you are exercising your dog, but if you could also exercise your biceps, triceps and digits after your dog works out its gluteus maximus and pick up the leftovers that'd be grand."

It's a minefield to walk through, but let's all just try and live life by this poem I've just created.

"If it's my dog then it's my poo, I'll do me and you do you. Take a poo bag on your stroll; it's up to you to take control. Pick it up don't leave it be, Your dog's waste is not up to me."

Happy walking!

*Don't miss Adam Green and Megan Banks on The Hits Hawke's Bay from 6am to 9am Monday to Friday.