The Hits: In search of a good night’s sleep

The Hits DJ Adam Green.

“Had a rough sleep last night.”

“Oh, I was up all night.”

It seems to be the talk of the office. Is there something in the air? Or is it just part of growing up that a good night’s rest seems to evade us more and more?

Yes, some of the stresses of everyday life become more apparent when you’re a ‘grown-up’, but shouldn’t that lend itself to a better restful slumber, not a worse one?

The discussion arose around the water cooler at work the other day, and various methods of falling asleep were thrown around.

Magnesium and fish oils, the four-seven-eight breathing method, a warm room, a cold room - the options seem endless. In the pursuit of knowledge, and a full night’s rest, I took to the internet and had a look at some methods from throughout the ages. And I’m not sure they’re all for me.

Take, for example, Renaissance-era Italy and the words of Dr Gerelamo Cardano, who suggested smearing a nice bit of dog earwax on your teeth. I’m not sure that’s a pleasant night for either the dog from which you extract said wax, or yourself, with a mouth full of canine ear excretions.

Writer Charles Dickens had a slightly less mouth-curdling method of finding rest and insisted on having his bed pointing northward. No easy task if the only plugs for lamps and cellphones are on the westward walls.

If sleep was truly impossible and you happened to live close to a good hunk of forest, a night hunt for a nice boar might assist, as some used to think the bile of a boar would be as good as a cup of herbal tea. The only caveat being it had to be a castrated one. Which really does add a layer of difficulty to your night hunt, both for you and the boar.

If you’re not too fussed about whether you get a goodnight kiss or not, raw onions were considered an option at one point in time, though I must say I much prefer a cheese and onion toastie.

If it’s the woes of the world keeping you up, a Guatemalan worry doll could be just what you need.

Often given to children, these wood, wire and fabric friends are a thing you speak your worries to before going to bed and popping it under the pillow. Nothing like a wood and wire doll beneath your pillow to promote a good snooze.

I think I’ll stick with a cup of tea.