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Home / Hawkes Bay Today

The Hits: Going for gold in the bedtime stretch-out

By Adam Green
Hawkes Bay Today·
3 Aug, 2021 06:00 PM3 mins to read

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The Hits DJs Adam Green and Megan Banks.

The Hits DJs Adam Green and Megan Banks.

"What could we go to the Olympics for, Dad?"

The question rang out from the back seat of the car. "Be a supportive father," I thought to myself. "Don't say whinging." "Whinging," I said. No seriously, they replied, do you think we could go to the Olympics?

"Seriously?" I answered.

"Okay, seriously, I think you could go to the Olympics for the fastest time to get in an argument with your sister after getting picked up from school. Sometimes you manage that in world record time."

Daaaaaaaaad, they moaned. An actual sport, what sport could we go to the Olympics for?

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Trying my hardest to build their self-esteem and foster a dream I thought long and hard and replied "Okay".

The bedtime stretch-out. "Welcome to the 2028 summer Olympics in beautiful Los Angeles, stepping up to the mark in the bedtime stretch out are the three New Zealanders, the Green girls. They have been pushing bedtime out since early 2018, when they realised they could quickly eat something after brushing their teeth, and It would mean having to brush their teeth again and an extra five minutes out of bed."

A REAL sport Dad. Like hockey, or riding horses. "Horses!" I exclaimed.

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"Oh you think we could go riding horses?" their tiny, excitable voices squeaked. "Not a chance," I answered.

"Dad doesn't own a horse, a paddock, or the patience to start you in equestrian now."

"What about the breakfast cereal wasting championship?" I asked.

"You could pour coco pops and ricies into a giant bowl, eat exactly three of them, walk off to go do something else, come back, not eat the rest because they've gone soggy, and take the gold medal!"

You could go to the Olympics for most frustrating dad, exclaimed one of them laughing, but also with a hint of truth.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. A real sport you could go to the Olympics for, all of you, guaranteed, would be, anything you set your mind to, work really hard at, give 100 per cent to, and really make an effort to make a huge part of your life; like leaving your undies and clothes lying around outside the washing basket."

Daaaaaaaaaaaaad they all yelled out together and gave me a great idea.

"How about you guys make the Olympic team for synchronised Dad-ing, because I've certainly given you plenty of practice at that!" Look out Los Angeles! - Adam Green

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