The Hits: Dreaming of a tropical island holiday

The Hits DJs, Megan Banks and Adam Green.

Bula Vinaka! So we were meant to be in Fiji as I write this.

We had saved up for more than a year, and it was to be our first real family holiday. I had pictured myself taking pictures of my perfect pre-lockdown gel pedicured toenails with the pool in the background, sipping on a pina colada.

I had dreams of the children running off to Kids' Club with not a care in the world except whether their crab would win the race. I was busy saving some books to read by the pool, and planning just when and how I would consume all of the carbs at the buffets.

But alas, here is the situation. My toenails have half grown out of their gel nails that I got way back in February and they look absolutely terrible but I can't get back into my pedicurist to get them taken off.

I have taken pics of them warming by the fire instead of a pool but it's not the same. I do have a constant drink in my hand, but it's cheap wine without a cocktail in sight … no little paper umbrella either.

And to top it all off, the kids have no Kids' Club to go to. Thank goodness we have been able to extend our bubble to Ben's parents. So Kids' Club is now courtesy of Kathy and Gary. They are great, but unfortunately they haven't realised that we had booked the kids into Kids' Club for five straight days, morning and afternoon.

I do have a stash of books to read, but reading them in between breaking up fights, home schooling, baking, eating and drinking isn't as relaxing as it sounds.

And then there's the buffet, and the carbs. The carbs and the buffet. The two go hand in hand and is about the only thing that I imagine is the same in lockdown as what it would have been in the restaurants on Plantation Island.

The buffet in our house starts as soon as the kids yell at you to get of bed because they're hungry.

The carbs start then too, toast, cereal, croissants, hash browns, more toast, a wee break for an hour and then sandwiches, cakes, another break then 2 minute noodles, cans of spaghetti, more toast.

Follow this pattern through to hot chips and lasagne for dinner and you've pretty much got it nailed. If this sounds like your kind of holiday we are now taking bookings for Lamason Street Island, where kids stay and play for free and adults work their butts off for little or no recognition. - Megan Banks

Don't miss Adam Green and Megan Banks on The Hits Hawke's Bay from 6am to 9am, Monday to Friday