The Hits' Adam Green: Bushman Tucka's burn halts my eating career in Napier

The Hits DJs, Megan Banks and Adam Green. Photo / Supplied

OPINION:
Eating challenges. Both fascination and disgust cross my mind when by chance something from the world hotdog eating championships crosses my screen.

Six foot tall (183cm), and 100kg, there is a lot of current champion Joey Chestnut to fill. His record, 75 hotdogs in 10 minutes truly is a sight to behold. And raises more questions than answers.

Like, what's the exit process like? When do you eat again after consuming 75 hotdogs? How does one even begin in this truly different competitive sport?

As someone that likes to eat, I feel like going pro would be a good way to make a living, but if my first foray into competitive eating is anything to go by, like most sports the chances of me going pro are long behind me.

It was 8am. A burger sat before me. The pungent aroma of chilis filling the air as we spoke with Daniel from "Bushman's Tucka" in Napier.

Just a week or two before his shop had been smashed up, but the community around him had rallied behind the store and he was back up and running, and the competition-grade Dad's Chillibeef burger was the breakfast of the day.

I've eaten a few hot sauces in my time, oh I've even asked for "hot, hot" when ordering a Thai or Indian meal. I've endured the burn on more than one occasion, and I like to think I have an okay tolerance to chillies.

So it was with great gusto I threw myself headfirst into the burger before me, taking bite after bite until soon half of the burger was either devoured or in my mouth.

That's when the pain hit. A creeping, searing heat of 1000 burning suns spreading slowly across my tastebuds, onto my lips and even up through my forehead! (Had I touched it, I thought?

How is the pain in my forehead?) I started to go delirious, the sweat pouring from my brow as the pain rendered me unable to do my job. Throwing the microphones on I managed a muffled "The hissshhhhh hawshhh bayy" before gesturing wildly to Megan to take the reins and leave me to die in peace.

A litre of milk poured quickly down my throat, slightly easing the burn, with each sip before the fire returned to rage in my mouth once more.

It's only now, and hour and a half later that I can sit, reflect, and confirm, I'll never be a competitive chili eater. Now to contemplate the exit strategy!
- Adam Green