Roger Moroney: Driving tests can often turn into a real show

Driving examiner Mike from Australian series Driving Test who has seen plenty of drama, and occasional tears, through the years.

Many, many years back I happened upon an old chap (who has since passed away) who did a lot of walking.

Because he had to.

Because he did not have a car, although he used to until it was effectively taken off him.

He would have been in his late 60s or early 70s I reckon, and he used to drive about in an old Morris, or something similarly British as he was not a fan of those "big yank things" or one of those "Aussie wagons".

He'd been driving for about 50 years when he misjudged the kerbing and disposed of a parking meter ... which I suppose was slightly understandable as there were no such things when he first took the wheel as a bright-eyed youth.

The council folk informed the local traffic department chaps and they had a chat with the old lad and part of the process was asking to see his driver's licence.

To which he simply replied that he'd never actually had one.

He had learned to drive and just carried on doing that without the required test or paperwork.

He'd never been asked for it in his life as until the day he downed the parking meter he'd never erred on the roads.

So that was that.

Bye bye Morris.

Hello bus driver.

I daresay there may still be drivers out there on the roads today who do not possess a licence and never made an effort to do the tests to get one.

They may be fine behind the wheel but it's playing with fire stuff.

The only exception to the rule is putting four wheels around a closed circuit racing course and I have seen some seriously talented and savvy young drivers aboard karts and even miniature open wheelers who were barely teenagers, and a few years away from getting a licence to drive on the public roads.

I daresay when they did sit their tests they went rather well, although the examiner may have been a tad unsettled during a few moments of late braking.

There are a lot of cars in this land, arguably more per capita than a lot of other lands, and that is reflected in shortages of parking and shortages of patience when the highways tend to cluster up at peak time when the average open road speed is barely that of the urban limit.

Lots and lots of cars and lots and lots of drivers, so being able to correctly and wisely pilot a motor vehicle of any sort is a vital ingredient of the whole motoring landscape.

Equally important of course is the testing process.

Through the years I've heard two summations of this aspect.

One was that it was far too easy and some people were clearly not ready to handle the requirements of driving.

The second was that it had become far too hard and people were being failed for very minor errors.

I think a lot of it comes down to the individual and how savvy the individual is in recognising what safe driving is really all about and what is required to achieve it.

Personally, I reckon having learned to ride motorcycles before learning to drive a car did me a lot of good and made me a better driver.

It's called awareness ... and believe me, on a motorcycle that ingredient is absolutely essential because there are no air bag back-ups on those things so you learn real fast about potential dangers "out there".

So I am intrigued when watching things like the Aussie series Driving Test which screens on TV1 on Thursday night because it is at times, to say the least, an eye-opener.

It's the expressions upon the faces of the examiners which kind of sum up just how their charges are getting on, and there have been occasions when you find yourself wincing.

They, the examiners, are the epitome of patience and superbly skilled in the art of being able to issue advice with a sort of genteel harshness.

As for some of the aspiring licence holders, you kind of get the feeling in some cases that they may go on to star in another motoring-fuelled show.

Like, maybe, Motorway Patrol or Traffic Cops.

Driving Test, TV1 at 9.10pm Thursday: I guess there's nothing like getting in plenty of practice before seeking a full driver's licence, and a licence seeker by the name of Felicity has had plenty of that.

She's 33 and since she was 21 has been driving on a learner's licence.

So should be a piece of cake with all that "training" behind her yeah?

Well that's up to examiner Mark to determine.

ON THE BOX

The Queen Mother, Prime at 7.30pm Tuesday: There has been a lot of royal content on the screens lately.

We have spent a few decades with Queen Victoria and here we have another past member of the royal family as the subject.

And one of my favourite royals, the Queen Mother.

She liked a good horse race and she liked a fine gin and during the London blitz she would not leave her city or her people and seek shelter elsewhere.

She was a very grand lady and this documentary features some great archive footage and words from those who were close to her.

New Zealand Today, TV3 at 9.45pm Friday: Opo the dolphin is a legend.

The friendly bottlenose was a huge attraction to the Opononi seaside in the Hokianga Harbour for 10 months of 1955 and 1956, and the memories of his playful antics with youngsters in the shallows are still talked about up that way. I think there's even a statue of him.

While 60 years have passed since Opo also sadly passed the locals up that way still revere the memory of those days.

Part of Kiwi history and Guy Williams checks it out.