Roger Moroney: All indicators point to 601 abuse

The other day, on my way to my work station, sorry ... I mean my desk ... I came up behind a ragged old van towing an even more ragged old trailer.
There was clearly a power problem with this outfit in more ways than one.
Firstly, the ragged van and even more ragged trailer appeared unable to break the 40km/h barrier - its dawdling progress leaving me with no option than to run just over idle speed.
Secondly, there did not appear to be any power in the bulbs of the trailer. Because when the van's brake lights came on, those on the trailer stayed dull. I put that down to a dicky connection between the van's prehistoric electrical system and the wiring within the trailer ... if it had any.
But that didn't finally lead to making me seethe, because I could see the van's brake lights clearly over the low trailer. What got me was the driver's inability to recognise what the stalk attached to the steering column was for.
But I will even allow some forgiveness for this as he may have journeyed through life without a Concise Oxford.
Like the lights on his trailer, he would not have been illuminated by an insertion on page 601.
It is the word "Indicator". The description of this often misunderstood and misused piece of motoring technology reads - "a device (esp. a flashing light) on a vehicle to show that it is about to change direction".
It is a concise description of this often misunderstood and apparently mysterious device.
Many people on these roads of ours have never been to page 601.
They are in the dark (like the very bulbs themselves) when it comes to the finer points of the use of "indicators".
I have no statistics before me but my memory does serve me reasonably well and I can recall several stories, from the courts, which have used the term "failed to indicate".
The failure to indicate causes innumerable (Concise Oxford page 610 "too many to be counted") near misses as well as numerable (Concise Oxford page 814 "that can be counted") crashes.
It is the most basic of functions whilst driving a motor vehicle yet is one of the most widely overlooked.
It infuriates me and leaves me thinking, and wishing, that the people who have never cast their eyes upon page 601 should start their road-using careers on motorcycles.
I did, and one of the first things you learned was that visibility was vital ... and letting people driving a tonne or more of steel know your directional intentions was very, very important.
Now I am far from being an advocate of that peculiar thing called "road rage" but there have been occasions, some recently, when I have completely understood how blood can boil behind the wheel.
I was following a bloke in a small car about 10 days ago and was alarmed twice, within as many minutes, at how he swapped lanes and then turned across traffic, without once using the advice of page 601.
He was an idiot ... and I told him so.
"Use your flipping indicators," I yelled ... although in slightly stronger terms.
He was oblivious however ... he appeared to have a headset of some sort on.
Indicators are not difficult to use, as anyone who remembers doing their driving test will confirm. If you didn't indicate during that journey then you'd be walking back home.
But it seems once many people get the old licence card they tear page 601 from their lives and just go wherever they feel like going ... without visually telling anyone.
On the plus side, let me tell you about the most memorable moment of indicating I have seen.
I heard sirens and watched as a police car rocketed up from behind. I eased over (indicating, of course) and let the officers get on with getting to the scene of whatever it was they were racing to.
Their red and blue lights were going, as were they. The driver's mind would have been racing - trying to figure the best approach to this incident.
And I watched that response car begin to brake for a left-hand corner coming up ... and the driver indicated. All hell was going off ... and he indicated.
Some would say we should expect that from the constabulary ... but when there is so much going on and they can still refer to page 601 then that is impressive.
And it should be influential and inspirational to all the dolts who simply don't indicate, and simply don't seem to care.
To them, forget the punt on the Lotto or the horses and hold the dozen beer for a week. Go and buy a Concise Oxford dictionary and tear out page 601 and staple it to your head.
Roger Moroney is an award-winning journalist for Hawke's Bay Today and observer of the slightly off-centre.