Oh, don't worry. I unwittingly belong to that idiot culture as well although I made a conscious decision to stop watching the Lions v Crusaders Super Rugby final just before halftime in Johannesburg last Saturday night.
Regrettably I stayed on TV, switching to Demand on Sky to catch up on Game of Thrones, to find someone had poisoned King Joffrey Baratheon.
It has left me wondering if, akin to referee Jaco Peyper, the scriptwriters have made the grave mistake of killing the abhorrent fictitious character.
Yes, just as Sonny Bill Williams had the choice, Lions flanker Kwagga Smith had the opportunity to pull out when he knew Crusaders fullback David Havili was already airborne.
Peyper, abiding by the rules, flashed a red card and, through no fault of his, ruined the game. (I wonder if Peyper would have become a "cheat" had he given a Crusader the marching orders?)
But you wouldn't have guessed it at Ellis Park despite the Kiwi franchise's 25-17 victory.
A sea of host fans, drenched in sunshine, cheered their 14-man team as if they were dictating the game and on the cusp of creating history with a maiden victory.
Short sleeves, beers, barbecues - it seems it hardly mattered to them who won although I suspect they are hurting.
That isn't going to happen in New Zealand on financial grounds, according to New Zealand Rugby chief executive Steve Tew.
"When we play games in the afternoon, the television audience, which is the number of fans we rely on, goes down by somewhere between 40 and 70 per cent," Tew told Radio Sport this week.
"If we had played those games during the day all-year-round, then the money we would have received from the broadcasters and the rest of our commercial partners would have dropped off exponentially, and fans would be watching games without our stars because they would be overseas."
Mid-afternoon club games in New Zealand, Tew said, also complicated matters.
Okay so is there a need to read between the lines here. I get the overriding picture that money dictates terms.
What intrigues me is the part - " ... the television audience, which is the number of fans we rely on ... ".
Is Tew saying something I'm reading but not deciphering?
If the TV viewership equates to fans then why bother to try to entice people through the turnstiles.
Is this a confession that NZRU will fill its coffers regardless of whether people turn up at parks or not.
Tew also reveals South Africa insists on playing matches in the arvo because fans do not feel safe travelling at nights.
"One of the reasons they play [in the] daytime is that it is too dangerous to play at night, and their fans simply won't go."
So why not "Tew on this". Fans in New Zealand are not going to the parks in the night because they are frozen to the bones.
The price of tickets, food, soul-less venues, boring or incompatible teams and confusing rules that fans can't comprehend, of course, contribute, too.
It seems Tew sees merit in South Africa protecting its spectators but can't justify the health and safety of its loyal followers here because all that matters is money in the bank.
I had a taste of TV's bully-boy tactics while covering the grand final of the National Basketball League when the then Auckland Pirates were crowned champions in 2012.
The sweaty players were hugging and high-fiving soon after the final buzzer when Sky TV wallahs abruptly told them to stop because they were ready to go back to the studio for the medal ceremony.
Cameras ready, players locked in and the crowd frozen in suspense, the proceedings were adjourned for several minutes.
Incensed fans, some chanting "boring, boring", started leaving the TSB Arena.
Not only had TV robbed the final of its magic but also reduced the protagonists to programmes at the whim of an overbearing remote control.
Therein lies the problem with a monopoly. The pay TV market desperately needs competition in New Zealand.
Sky's practice to make viewers buy a "basic package" before they can opt for sport or whatever is draconian at best.
To hijack popular shows from the likes of TVNZ 1, TVNZ 2 and Three and then make viewers purchase individual channels, such as SoHo, must breach some part of the fair trading act.
Oh and don't get me started on simply notifying viewers that their subscriptions will go up by X amount of dollars because they wish to add other sport channels. Ditto charging extra for decoders if you want to watch Sky in another room in a home.
Like the NBL had a choice, fans can turn the tables on Sky TV to blunt its fiscal fangs.
When is Amazon, moving into Australia, coming here to free up the market?
The likes of Netflix also can help the cause in embracing sport.
