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Home / Hawkes Bay Today

On hold forever: Should robots be allowed to make us jump through hoops on the phone?

By Wyn Drabble
Hawkes Bay Today·
11 Jul, 2023 11:12 PM4 mins to read

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What is your favourite colour? We are sorry. You have given an incorrect answer. Please press the hash key to return to the original menu. Photo / Unsplash

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Opinion:

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Read More

  • Wyn Drabble: Let humans make their own decisions - ...
  • Wyn Drabble: Millions of flies just for you...
  • Wyn Drabble: It’s all about coming down to Earth - ...
  • Wyn Drabble: Dos and don’ts of little thingies - NZ ...

The answer to your winter warming woes is the new solar-powered SUNNY heater. It operates on one 9-volt battery which will provide you with hours of heat even outside on the deck. Order in the next seven minutes and you will receive another SUNNY heater absolutely free. Okay, another two, three, four SUNNY heaters absolutely free of charge.

And we will throw in a handsome set of steak knives in an attractive macramé pouch tastefully decorated with dried mung beans absolutely free of charge. All right, two sets of knives. But only if you order in the next seven minutes. All right, eight minutes. Our lines are now open.

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We thank you for your patience and remind you that your readership is important to us.

Five weeks later...

Welcome at last to this week’s column.

The digital world is irritating and frustrating in so many ways. An average human weighing in at 80kg when wearing only scanty attire can easily fritter away two hours per day trying to talk with a service provider (“please hold”) on the phone, only to have the call drop out completely before any worthwhile communication occurs, deeming it necessary to go back to square one and begin the whole painful process again.

Being on hold for two hours cannot be considered fruitful use of time so I would like to suggest another way we could do all this. What I have in mind involves no 4-digit code, no pin number, no security question, no “please hold”, no drop-out.

Does that sound appealing to you? Yes? Well, all it involves is...

- Wyn Drabble is a teacher of English, a writer, musician and public speaker

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