I once interviewed Colin Meads - he had retired from rugby by that stage — I still remember shaking his hand and thinking "oh my goodness you have huge hands". Lovely man.
Most of the time when the sport banter starts around me I zone out.
Sometimes I pipe up and say "oh I know exactly what you mean", or "how interesting". I get funny looks when that happens.
Sometimes, one of the gentlemen will say "so what do you think about that Linda". I just roll my eyes.
Anyway a few months ago I decided to take a few notes when the sport talk came out. Sometimes I miss the beginning of the conversation so have no idea what they are chatting about.
Here are a few examples of what I have heard.
"Yet again the Magpies aren't favourites".
"Ash is a big blow though unfortunately" — I think Ash is a person.
"Got up to watch the finals with my son and thought agghhhhhhhhhhhhh" — no idea why he was upset.
Linda Hall is assistant editor at Hawke's Bay Today.
"Shite of a weekend of sport" — this on a Monday morning of course — lots of nodding heads and bleak faces.
This one's a beauty: "Played a cricket game once , the other team had a gate end as wickets. They came over and asked us if we wanted a beer. We declined. Frustratingly we lost."
I think perhaps he thought the other team might have one too many beers and they would easily beat them. Do you play better cricket with a beer under your your belt? I'll ask next time beer and cricket come up.
After telling the above story another of the blokes said "a crate has always been the classic Kiwi cricket stump".
This next one made me cringe: "Five days of cricket then if you are lucky it rains and is delayed so on it goes". Five days of cricket — I would rather run a marathon.
These comments were heard while the telly was on: "Oh no, he's dropped it." "Bowlers must love that." "Jamieson got a wicket". "Don't start me on Nicholls. He's not my favourite." "Could all be over on day three". "Oh wicket". "What a catch".
A few gems: "He's insanely fit, he doesn't do a s*******d of work with the ball so just relies on banging it in." No idea who he is.
"He is a curious fish". "Luckiest left arm spinner that we have ever had". I loved this one "Listen to us armchair b****s".
"Nick this one off to Normy" and "we have so many more successful players than before".
I'll finish with this memory: "Oh - sitting in the shade watching a game of cricket drinking a gin and tonic and hoping the coach won't notice".
I've been taking these notes for about six months now unbeknown to the blokes. They are what I would call "good sorts" so I know they won't say "that's not cricket".
Footnote: Ive just been informed that its Warney not Normy. Warning — I may not have heard everything correctly.
• Linda Hall is assistant editor at Hawke's Bay Today.
