I can't decide if I'm a lardo or a heifer but, according to Newstalk ZB journalist Rachel Smalley, I am one of them because I weigh more than 72kg.
I am, however, 5ft 8in. Typical, justifying my weight by telling you how tall I am.
But that's what we women do, we justify ourselves. You can weigh this much as long as you don't have a muffin top, or you can weigh this much if your BMI is this. Women are obsessed with weight.
I actually feel really sorry for Smalley. We've all said some dumb things before but lucky for us there's not been a live mic in front of us telling thousands of other people about it. She must feel terrible.
The reaction to her comments is what has amazed me. Women are up in arms over it but, when you think about it, it's women who put themselves under all this pressure when it comes to weight.
I'm guilty of it myself, although I don't own scales, and my advice to anyone who does is to throw them out.
Within minutes of entering the world, we are put on scales. Then our mothers worry about our weight.
If we don't put on weight they worry that it's their fault. Adults make comments about children's looks all the time. "She's skinny, he's a bit podgy, he's tall, she's short, he's handsome, she's sure to grow into a beauty, don't eat that, you'll get fat, will you look at the fat person ... disgusting, they should be ashamed of themselves."
As we progress into adults, if we decide we need help with our weight where do we turn? Weight Watchers. Before anyone gets up in arms, I'm not dissing Weight Watchers. It has helped thousands of women to lose weight and live healthier lifestyles but maybe it's time for a name change.
How about Health Watchers?
It's no wonder people obsess about how they look. We live in a world where slim, beautiful people are constantly thrust in our faces: Models and gorgeous celebrities on telly and in magazines, not a muffin top in sight. They frolic in the sea in next-to nothing with their muscle-bound boyfriends and husbands and their beautiful children.
Beautiful people walk with an air of confidence. They know they look good and I think that's what a lot of women strive for.
That look of confidence - we assume that to get that we must be slim and then everything else will fall into place. We will look better, feel better and people will like us better.
Google losing weight and there are thousands of sites that promise to get you looking fantastic by doing this or that. Notice the person in the advertisement is always trim and toned.
However, I have noticed lately that there actually are more health and fitness places that emphasise measurements and body fat rather than what the scales say. Let's hope the trend continues.
For some of us, it doesn't matter what we do - we are never going to be toned beauties (I'm definitely not and have never been). The trick is to feel comfortable in your own skin.
Focus on your health, rather than your weight. Be proud of who you are, straighten your spine and strut your stuff no matter what shape or age you are.