Artist Abbey Merson (left) Amanda Meynell, James Cooper with Heretaunga Women’s Centre's new car fundraised for in 2023.
Artist Abbey Merson (left) Amanda Meynell, James Cooper with Heretaunga Women’s Centre's new car fundraised for in 2023.
OPINION
The Heretaunga Women’s Centre has had another full and busy year, and as 2023 comes to a close, I had planned back in September that this article would reflect on the incredible year and some of the achievements and successes we have had, not knowing that what I wouldup end writing would be quite different.
Working at the centre is amazing, and as I go into my fifth year here, I can honestly say it’s easily the best job I have ever had. Sometimes, I’m asked what’s it like working with all those women and “aren’t you all catty?”. The answer is easy, it’s fantastic and no never.
We are all strong and dedicated to what we do and sometimes, of course, we have differences of opinions and sometimes we have robust conversations. It’s one of the ways, I think, how so much gets done here at the centre, and how we coped during the past two months.
This year, along with the amazing social activities, workshops, classes, SuperGrans programmes, counselling and therapies we offered we also secured funding for a centre car, we ran a Recreate Day partnered with Sharleen Bailey, an event that sparked creativity, and connection.
Amanda Hanan of the Heretaunga Women’s Centre. Photo / Connull Lang
We also attended and hosted with Hastings City Business Association International Women’s Day breakfast with amazing speakers: Korrin Barrett, Putaanga Waitoa, Shaleah Lawrence and Lana Taylor, each with their own incredible stories to share.
We had fortnightly Art in the Hallway exhibitions showcasing local women artists, the incredibly successful Harcourt’s HB Women’s Tri fundraiser was nominated for a sports award, we employed four new amazing wahine to our team, our service development lead had a baby girl and then while we were basking in the glory of our work, thinking how great life is and making plans for 2024, just like that — everything changed.
I remember that Saturday when there was a call from our manager Amanda Meynell (for Amanda to ring on a Saturday I knew it couldn’t be good) but was not prepared for the terrible news that she had just found out that she had cancer, it was terminal and that she had resigned.
To say we were all devastated was an understatement. I could not comprehend at the time how this could be possible — that this young vibrant woman, a special human being and our amazing boss, was dying.
Heretaunga Women’s Centre manager Amanda Meynell died in 2023 after being diagnosed with terminal cancer.
Coming into work without Amanda being here was bewildering. Work-wise, the team just carried on with the daily workload and women of our community called in, sent cards and letters of kindness and support.
We missed and miss Amanda. She had a way of making you feel that you and the work you did was amazing, that no one else could do it better and that made you always want to live up to that.
People grieve differently. Some wanted the centre to be open and be together and some wanted to be on their own. Some felt Amanda would want the centre to be open and some felt it should be closed so we could grieve.
There were no right answers. No one wrote a book about what happens when your boss dies, people only write books about bad bosses. Somehow, we muddled through getting the things done that needed to be done, keeping things running and just crying when we needed to.
Christmas can be a sad time when the people you love have passed on. The Women’s Centre counsellor, Jenny, who lost her son James to cancer 23 years ago, knows about grief if anyone does and says, “Just be real about what you are experiencing and don’t feel you have to explain or compare your grief to anyone else’s.”
I think that’s right, whether it’s 23 days or 23 years, what you feel is what you feel and that’s okay.
I think of my brother, dead now 23 years too. The phone call like yesterday that came just three days before Christmas after we had had a perfect day at the beach and bang he was gone, killed in a motorbike accident by someone who forgot to look left.
So this Christmas – drive carefully, look left and right, hug the people you love a little harder than usual and spend time with the ones that make you laugh because those people make our hearts sing.
Rest in peace Amanda Meynell and all the loved ones we are remembering and grieving.
