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Home / Hawkes Bay Today

Henare O'Keefe's final proposal to wife Pam: Marry me again

By Sahiban Hyde
Hawkes Bay Today·
7 Sep, 2020 02:26 AM3 mins to read

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Henare and Pam O'Keefe in 2004. Photo/ File

Henare and Pam O'Keefe in 2004. Photo/ File

Hastings District Councillor Henare O'Keefe asked his wife of 48 years Pam to remarry him as she lay in hospital last week.

Pam, known as the "Mother of Flaxmere" who with Henare adopted and raised roughly 200 children in Hastings' most challenged suburb, died on September 5, aged 67.

At an emotional funeral service on Monday, livestreamed by Ascend Global Church in Flaxmere in a bid to allow thousands of mourners to pay respects despite Covid funeral restrictions, Henare sung a song he wrote for Pam 20 years ago.

"She was my precious soulmate, my darling," he said.

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Henare O'Keefe paid a tribute to his "darling" wife at her funeral on Monday. Photo / File
Henare O'Keefe paid a tribute to his "darling" wife at her funeral on Monday. Photo / File

"Last week, I proposed to her at the hospital. I dropped down on one knee and asked her if she'd consider remarrying me.

"She said 'and have another 48 years?'. Then she said 'we found happiness, eh'.

"And we did, we did find happiness. We found happiness holding hands, indulging in her favourite past time of retail therapy, sitting in the park, with her mokopuna and children."

Henare said he met Pam when they were both 17 and they got married at 18.

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"If she were here she'd say 'enough of the BS. Reach out, love one another, don't sweat the small stuff'," he said.

One by one speakers in the 100-strong group invited got up and described Pam's good heart - a simple person who wanted for nothing, and would quite literally, take the food off her own table to give to those less fortunate.

She was remembered as Henare's soulmate, wife, community champion, and a loving, supportive woman who never put herself first.

Friends were told of the plans for the service at in a video posted by Henare on Facebook on Sunday night.

Pam O'Keefe, pictured in 2004, is considered the mother of Flaxmere for her huge work as a foster mother. Photo / File
Pam O'Keefe, pictured in 2004, is considered the mother of Flaxmere for her huge work as a foster mother. Photo / File

Hawke's Bay Regional Council chairman Rex Graham said he was still in shock, "one minute she's there, and the next minute she's not".

"Pam was really tireless in her care for others," he said.

"She was a simple person who didn't lust after materialistic things. She didn't want wealth, glory, mana.

"She never put herself first, she was completely non-judgemental.

"She was Henare's soulmate, the mother of our marae, the mother of Flaxmere. She will be sorely missed."

Aorangi, Pam's granddaughter took the stage and talked about how much she missed her nan and how she wished she were still here.

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"Just know that you will never be forgotten. You were kind, loving supportive, no matter what.

"Even if we all got on her nerves, she'd still love you."

She talked about a surreal conversation she had with Pam.

"She told me that when the time came I was not to forget that her favourite song was In Her Mother's Eyes, and I said 'you're not going to go'."

"I know she's in a better place now, no more pain, no more sickness."

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