Gunshots trigger scary memories

GRANT HARDING
I don't like guns. I learnt that in 1982 when I did my territorial soldier training at Burnham Military Camp in Christchurch.
I was the fittest in my platoon. I could go all day. Because I was a university graduate I was told I was officer material - but I couldn't shoot to save myself. I don't believe it was my eyes. I think it was a jerky technique caused by a deep inner fear of guns. I don't like them.
On Thursday lunchtime when I heard at least three shots ring out about a kilometre from my home on Napier's Hospital Hill, I remembered why. It's the power of the beast, the noise it makes, the fact that a high-powered rifle can fire a projectile a kilometre in the space of a second. At least that is what my memory 27 years on tells me - 3200ft per second. Bloody scary!
By the time that sound pierced the air, I knew a major incident was in progress.
Into the last week of a lengthy holiday, I was writing for pleasure on my computer, entirely in a make-believe world, when my mother-in-law rang about 10.20am anxious to know how the shooting in Chaucer Rd related to our family.
It was surreal - here I was, virtually on the scene, being filled in by someone in Hastings. Chaucer Rd, the entry to the hill I mostly avoided because of its steepness, was now the focus of national attention.
My first reaction was to head outside where I found a police road block 10m away. Then I rang Napier Central Primary School to check on my twin daughters' welfare. I was assured everyone was fine.
On the internet I found information that told me the horror of what had happened, and thankfully that the gunman was contained.
Then I got in my car and did a full circle of the hill to take in the cordon with a thought to offering photo opportunities to Hawke's Bay Today. I had no reason to go to work at that point. That day's issue was already at the printer.
When I heard those shots - fear of guns or not - I headed outside again.
The policewoman across the road was crouched behind a concrete block. Concerned, I asked if the gunman had escaped the cordon, in which case I was going to head to the school. She assured me he hadn't. She obviously didn't like guns either.
Soon afterwards my wife rang - she had heard Len Snee was the victim. We'd played a season of touch with Len a few years back.
I can't say I knew him. He was a quiet bloke - and that's an understatement - whose main method of communication with us was a friendly smile.
It was strange, however, how much I knew about him, and how his face was so easy to recall. It stuck in my head until I actually saw a photo of him posted.
That afternoon I stayed at the computer, flicking bits of information to work - may as well have gone there - until the welcome distraction of something else to occupy the mind came.
My twins had been evacuated to Coote Rd Army Hall, I was informed by the police, and when I collected them they had no knowledge of what had happened.
My 14-year-old daughter, who had rung during the day to make sure I was all right, also needed collecting.
We did our normal Thursday things - Ashley went to tennis training, the twins went to swimming lessons, they all had McDonald's for tea. The only difference was they all slept in our bedroom or close by in the lounge.
My wife and I had a wine and toasted Len Snee - a person we didn't know that well, but a person we knew well enough to be deeply saddened that he died like that. He was also a close friend of friends of ours.
We watched the television coverage. It didn't seem like our neighbourhood - quiet streets we travel every day now in lockdown, crawling with police.
I woke up yesterday and went for another drive about 5.30am. The cordon had drifted inwards. After returning home I walked up Kipling Ave, and down Napier Terrace to Burns Rd where a policeman with a rifle got out of his car.
I said, ``So you can't go any further than this?' and turned on my heels. My daughter went off to school, my wife went off to work, my twins had to stay at home. We've just been hanging out.
It is now about the same time on Friday as it was on Thursday when I heard shots ring out.
I am hoping for a peaceful resolution to this dreadful situation.
I really don't like guns.