In the course of 80-odd years, someone has razed the standard.
Here's the line from the report writer that truly stung: "negligence is considered to be minor ... ".
Pardon?
This is a failed $13.6 million upgrade that will see the theatre empty for two years. It caused a company to cease trading, pushed numerous events from Hastings, cost 15 jobs, forced the relocation of the city's flagship furnishings business and will continue to sting the ratepayer millions more in subsequent strengthening. This is seismic negligence.
It's one thing to squander a king-sized wad of public cash, it's another to fork out more on a report recommending a hearty rendition of kumbaya.
Factoring the derelict Albert Hotel, Heretaunga St east boasts two notable buildings, both listed under the New Zealand Historic Places Trust - both unsafe for human habitation.
This is bleak.
The offender? Unknown. Cause? Unexplained. A mysterious culprit - the phantom of the opera house.
Quite apt, given this stunning theatre is poised to celebrate its centenary with its ghosts.