So, the feared education hiatus is upon us. The cold gap we speak of in hushed tones - the two-week nether world of winter school holidays.
In a brutal 2016 twist, the region's rain stayed away for most of the preceding term to materialise proper only once the young oneshunkered down full-time with mum and dad.
For the next fortnight, parents are caught in the relentless current of kids' taxing demands and acute cabin fever.
Still, parents can validly cut corners in this period on the basis that we're spread too thin.
Firstly, permit your kids to sleep in their clothes. That way they needn't spend 35 minutes at bedtime haranguing you over whether they'll wear the flannelette or the cotton, and how they can't wear last night's pair because the cat's sleeping on them. The time-saving dividend is that they rise the following morning already dressed.
As for entertainment on a shoestring, try heading to Hawke's Bay Seafoods rather than the National Aquarium. Believe me when I tell you children are infinitely more captivated with dead fish than swimming fish. The macabre death stares of the fishmonger's scaly catch makes for an engaging visit. "Is it still alive, Dad?" "I saw that one breathing." "Can I touch its eye?"
Fish 'n chips usually results, yet if you're wanting something even more frugal head to Farmers, where escalator rides are still free.
Yesterday, at Farmers, it dawned on me that while holidays remind us that teachers are surrogate parents for six hours a day, parents are a tad reluctant to return the favour to become surrogate teachers.
