Harry Averill was a happy kid, ‘one of the lucky ones’, with a loving family and a rough-and-tumble childhood with two brothers spent dreaming of becoming an All Black, like a lot of Kiwi kids. But upon starting high school, everything changed - to 13-year-old Harry, it was now time to be a man, and that meant sacrifice, and suffering in the pursuit of success. Harry still struggles to pinpoint how his mind came to this conclusion.
Life as a boarder at Napier Boys’ High began well for Harry, academically and sports-wise. He played rugby and made the track team, turning out to be a decent runner. Harry didn’t find running enjoyable and intended to leave the team, but after continued success was persuaded to stay; this is when everything changed.
Harry noticed that many professional runners were very slim, and with his new mindset of ‘no pain, no gain’, he made a decision. To excel at running he must be thinner, and to be thinner, he must limit his food. His rational brain was aware of the energy he was burning during training, but a switch had been flipped, and his mind began to turn on him.
What follows is a carefully narrated story of the descent into anorexia. The weight came off, the training was relentless, and Harry began to feel an anxious guilt when he ate, or when he wasn’t moving. Some passages are very uncomfortable to read, especially when we remind ourselves that this is a 13-year-old child. What follows is a heart on the verge of collapse, hospitalisation, being fed through a drip, and a stay in a psychiatric hospital.
Hungry to Be Happy is a beautifully written and structured book that raises many questions for the reader’s consideration. What language are we using with children around success and failure? What are the things that really matter? Harry is now a happy, healthy adult, but he still doesn’t really know why or how his mind turned against him. Incredibly, not once does he place blame on anyone.
