Whoever said the devil wears Prada must have had a pretty delusional sense of dress code.
The word out there is the Old Scratch, in all his sartorial elegance, demands adidas - with a lower case "a", thanks; black as it comes, complete with three stripes. Oh, and don't forget the strip of Chinese-collar white, please?
He already makes his presence felt in every nook and corner of the world.
Did you see the Fiery One on the front page of the New Zealand Herald on Wednesday?
It seems an alternate colour sits quite comfortably with him during "offshore" excursions. There he was disguised in a hoodie and his face covered, albeit deceptively in white with the distinctive trident brand in blue riding down the tracksuit's long sleeves and matching pants, as London wept and burned in the background at the height of the youth riots.
It's a little premature to summon the local clergyman to exorcise the demons.
The London Olympics organisers can breathe easy for now because their fun and Games don't begin until around this time next year.
But we have more pressing problems here, such as rugby fans "filthy" about paying twice as much for replica adidas All Black jerseys compared with those in Britain and the United States.
I mean what were the devil worshippers thinking, selling their congregation's souls to uncompromising commercial moguls.
The Men in Black have been reduced to footwear freaks, scrambling to showcase pink, red, orange, green, yellow boots with three stripes in the Rugby World Cup here in 28 days.
It's simply bad taste and a lack of imagination, if you ask me, although I wear a fluorescent green one in soccer only, I hasten to add, because a mate from San Francisco gave me a pair last year.
I occasionally dance with the devil but my soul isn't that cheap.
To add insult to rugger injury, the Poms have bastardised this country's culture and heritage with the unbearable likeness of a black with an alternate jersey in case of a clash with white.
The English don't appear to have any qualms about shedding their traditional white but most certainly need the "big tick" of approval.
I mean what next? Ma'a Nonu kissing the three stripes as the camera zooms in on him soon after he dives over the try line.
What's stopping Sonny Bill Williams from carving a big tick on his eyebrow or the back of his head, provided the price is right, in blatant disregard of the New Zealand Rugby Union (NZRU) or its sponsors.
Why not go the whole hog for the sponsored pre-match haka?
It seems the fans have seen a ghost. Once the label of the working class, adidas is fast alienating followers with its scary price tag.
Like it or not, the much-maligned dollar will always be the common denominator on the devil's altar when worshipping elite sports.
After much hue and cry, adidas has begrudingly spat out a sorry of sorts but still isn't budging on the prices.
Call me old-fashioned but I believe the watchdogs of New Zealand rugby should never have deviated from the rustic all black ensemble.
It's not like the ABs need to revamp their look to lure hordes through the turnstiles, akin to tennis trying to sex up their female players to boost numbers at Wimbledon by urging them to discard their drabby whites and show a little more flesh.
Regrettably exploiting the market is the essence of any commercial game.
Any ranting and raving about how the jersey "belongs to the people" is a fallacy, just as the red sox campaign was at the height of the America's Cup success here.
NZRU boss Steve Tew's rhetoric is a testimony to how removed rugby is from the masses.
In the supply and demand scale, profit margins will always be paramount.
Everyone knows how quickly petrol prices go up but limp back to the pumps when everything suggests on the world market it should retreat smartly.
TV dictating the coverage of ITM Cup rugby matches at night on a week day is equally absurd.
Just ask the old geezers who have stopped frequenting McLean Park, Napier, because it's too mind-numbingly cold to watch footy.
Apply the supply/demand logic and you'll find if there's no stampede to buy replica jerseys then retailers and suppliers will have no choice but to lower the price.
Alternatively, mob rule will prevail if fans black out the white stripes with a felt pen.
Once the lynch mob simmers down, takes a deep breath and reflects on the situation, it'll realise where the root of all evil is.
Not at the grassroots but the apex. The prophets may be different but there's one omnipresent figure - the mighty dollar - in the three-stripe or big-tick denominations.