Roger Moroney: A lot of mileage from old projects

Ant Anstead (left) and Philip Glenister are ever so slightly crazy about cars ... especially taking a sad one and making it happy again.

Through the years I have bumped into a string of folks who have devoted a lot of time, a lot of effort and a lot of patience and passion into restoring the sort of vehicle the average person would have assigned to the wreckers.

I have seen what would best be described as basketcase pieces of rusted and torn parts rebuilt into a car or motorcycle in arguably better condition than they were the day they rolled off the line.

And the thing I like about it is that the devoted clan of restorers are in no hurry.

When I asked one chap how long it had taken to restore the heap of unrecognisable rubbish he'd scooped up off a farm somewhere down south he told me quite casually "oh, six or seven years".

It's the old saying.

If you are going to do something then do it right.

Never was a phrase more suitable when it comes to restoring a motor vehicle.

I mean, you don't flick a set of 1946 Chevrolet hubcaps on the 1947 Hudson you're stitching together in the garage.

Poor form (and yes, before one of you restoration chaps chimes in I know a set of 1946 Chevrolet hubcaps would not fit a 1947 Hudson ... I was just making a point).

I doubt I would have the patience (nor the skills for that matter) to take on a shabby old chassis and barely recognisable body and running gear and turn it into a fine example of early American automobile art.

I have done a restoration though ... of sorts.

I had a slightly shabby 1973 Honda motorcycle which, due to the dodgy exhaust system I'd fitted (because the originals had rusted out) sounded as bad as it looked.

Sidecover missing, seat torn, mirrors rusted, rear mudguard rusted, rubber stopper for the fuel cap ... it was not pretty.

So, with help from some good chaps I knew at Honda, who did me a bit of a deal, I did it up.

I stripped it all back, electrics and everything, and sanded then sprayed painted the frame and swingarms.

I patched and painted and began binning the weary fittings and replaced them with shining new items, as they slowly began to arrive.

The pared-down bike stood in the garage as bits were repaired and fitted over about five weeks ... a long five weeks because I just wanted to ride the thing again.

It became an evening ritual.

Finish tea, sort the dishes, grab a couple of cold tinnies and head for the garage for another couple of hours tinkering, tweaking and fettling.

Now I have to be honest here.

This was effectively more a case of replacement and replenishment rather than full restoration.

Remove the engine and tear down and sort the slipping clutch?

Not on your Nellie mate ... it once took me about a fortnight to work out how to set the points and timing.

But bolting and screwing things together, as well as a spot of painting and polishing ... that was me.

And the whole process was oddly addictive, and in a way when it was all done and dusted and I proudly fired it up and went for a ride I felt sort of empty ... there was nothing more to do.

So I can understand the appeal of the "project" out in the shed, and the knowledge there is still a few years' work to be done yet.

Mind you, I know chaps who go looking for another one after finishing the previous one, and that's terrific because it all adds to the colour of our historic motoring landscape.

So I shall likely take a look at a little project being carried out by two chaps on Saturday night, in the form of a Triumph Stag (fine looking car) which goes from looking sad to looking just swell. And I bet they make it look so easy.

For the Love of Cars, TV3 at 7.30pm Saturday: Philip Glenister has been described as "a car fanatic" and his colleague in restoration, Ant Anstead, is an internationally-recognised car designer. The lads basically scour the old barns and isolated sheds of Britain looking for some sad old slab of automobilia to do up. They prefer old British cars of course, but there was one occasion when they were alerted to an "interesting car" in a farm shed. It was a rare DeLorean gull-wing sports car. Yes, they got excited. In this outing, they uncover a Triumph Stag.

On the box

• Hercules - The Human Bear, TV3 at 7.30pm today:

The thought of patting a grizzly bear, or offering him something to eat (apart from one's arm) terrifies me. I saw a giant bear at a zoo in Australia and shivered. They are majestic, but ooh they look scary. There once was a series called Gentle Ben but I don't buy into that description. There was also a series called Grizzly Adams, and he was a bear-patter, crazy guy. Here we have a grizzly bear living in ... Scotland. He's been in TV ads and all sorts of other human things and he's a gentle old Jock by the sound of it. I'll stay this side of the screen though.

• New Zealand Music Awards, Four at 8pm Thursday: I am not exactly a betting man but I would be prepared to put a tenner on Lorde picking something up here. She didn't spark into the Kiwi and international music scene -- she erupted and now she makes more money than the blokes who run the power companies ... and that's saying something. Being of my vintage it all sounds the same to me but good on her. And good on Sol3 Mio for making opera fun and feisty. They'll bag a trophy too I'm sure.

• Jon and Ben Celebrate TV3's Half Half Century, TV3 (of course) at 7.30pm Friday: It is 25 years since the third channel switched into life and I still remember it well. In fact I think I've still got the grand opening stored away on VHS somewhere. Twenty-five years ... where did it go? Crikey, John Campbell would have been lying on the floor watching the cartoons back then. These two tearaway chaps will have some fine fun with whatever they trawl from the archives I'm sure.