One thing I have learned over the years is when it comes to all the research and roundabout discussions, the price comparisons and the pondering and pressure involved in purchasing big-ticket items, never say to the man in your life, "Look, for God's sake, stop talking about it, just go and buy one!" and then walk away.
This is how I ended up with an Isuzu Bighorn instead of Mini Cooper, a television that takes up half the lounge, an entire home gym when all I wanted was 2kg dumbbells and a whopping great surfcaster when all we needed was something with which to catch sprats off the wharf.
So you'd think after my 11-year-old son had spent the best part of an hour in the toy aisle of the Warehouse armed with a wallet full of Christmas gift cards garnered from well-meaning relatives, I would have thought twice about blurting out those words and making the same mistake; but no. I told him to hurry up and choose something before walking out to go and wait in the car.
Which is why he bought home the Nerf N-Strike Elite Retaliator gun; a military spec, super-sized, semi-automatic lump of blue and orange plastic which, in addition to breaking down into three separate weapons (always important for an 11-year-old to have variety in their playthings) it shoots dozens of four-inch blue and orange foam darts all over the house at the speed of sound. Darts that land in the pot-plants, down the back of the enormous television, inside the hole in the stereo subwoofer, in every shoe I own and in the fish bowl.
The poor fish are over it. It's not like they haven't got enough to worry about with a new kitten in the house, one that's always looking for new and inventive ways to make their lives scary and miserable.
The kitten, naturally, loves the Nerf darts; they're tasty and make a squeaking sound when she rips them into tiny crumbs of blue stuff that spread across the carpet in every room.
Needless to say, her litter tray is also very colourful.
Thankfully I've been able to keep calm and carry on with the assistance of some rather delicious wines this week.
Stoneleigh Rapaura Series Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc 2013 $27 This is my type of sauvignon, a sauvignon that keeps you engaged with every sip. With piercing acidity and packed with lime and preserved lemon flavours, it's dangerously drinkable. There's also a lovely layer of soft herbs, passionfruit, and a citrus pith texture, which really plumps out the juiciness of the finish. www.stoneleigh.co.nz
Spy Valley Outpost Single Vineyard Marlborough Pinot Gris 2012 375ml $27 I really like the nutty, ginger-biscuit aromas followed by the poached pear and quince characters on the palate. It's luscious, exotic and yet not overly sweet - making it a perfect match for a chunk of creamy blue cheese. www.spyvalley.co.nz
Dog Point Section 94 Sauvignon Blanc 2008 $POA Yes, I know you're thinking it's impossible that you'd still be able to get bottles of one of New Zealand's most iconic sauvignon blancs from that year. "There was a bit of a cock-up at stocktake when we moved warehouses," says winemaker James Healy, "so we found ourselves with a handful of cases that we didn't know we had." All the better for us. This barrel-fermented bottle of fabulousness, after six years, tastes incredibly good. Toasty, nutty, marzipan and frangipani aromas, ultra-fresh acidity, grilled peach and toasty flavours give this wine layers of vibrancy that are just awesome - lovely stuff, and testament to the ageing ability of well-made sauvignon blanc. www.dogpoint.co.nz
Margrain Martinborough Pinot Gris 2011 $24 If you're a fan of super-dry, chalky pinot gris then this is for you. I love the flavours of fresh-cut pear, quince, nashi and lime all edged with exfoliating acidity and creating a lovely, lean, elegant finish. Yum. www.margrainvineyard.co.nz
Seifried Nelson Gewurztraminer 2013 $25 This fantastic wine oozes Turkish delight and gingerbread characters; it's lush and succulently sweet and carries a lovely floral, spicy edge on the finish. This is one of my favourite examples of gewurztraminer because it's so approachable and satisfying, and you can buy it pretty much everywhere. www.seifried.co.nz
Rippon Wanaka Mature Vine Pinot Noir 2011 $55 Soft, plush, enticing spices, engorged with fruit sweetness, dark berries, cherry and plum circle a core of pomegranate, black tea and spice. There's an almost creamy elegance to the way this wine feels in the mouth, leaving a gently succulent, very refined finish. Stunning stuff. www.rippon.co.nz