Allen's cinematographer is three-time Academy Award winner Vittorio Storaro, who combines with costume designer Suzy Benzinger and production designer Santo Loquasto to recreate lush, gorgeous spaces filled with black ties and shimming gowns.
The soundtrack is also super, consisting of classics like Jeepers Creepers and The Lady is a Tramp. Basically, the look and sound is jaw-dropping; the story at the centre is ho-hum.
The first half follows the New York-born Bobby Dorfman (Eisenberg) as he flees West for adventure in Tinseltown. His uncle (a very good Steve Carell) is a high-powered yet insecure movie agent who puts him under his wing.
A broken romantic triangle sends Bobby back to New York pining for a lost love in the film's second half. He becomes a cool, glad-handing nightclub manager - odd, since he's supposed to be so self-conscious and internal - for his gangster brother (Corey Stoll, hitting the wiseguy bit a little hard). Bobby gets married to Blake Lively (whose job here is to simply wear dresses fabulously) and has a family.
What connects these stories is Kristen Stewart, a former assistant of Bobby's uncle who walks into the New York club one day like a ghost from the past, a scene as melodramatic as it sounds. Stewart is good at being cold; not so good here as the source of anyone's wild adoration.
The film, which never really catches a full head of stream, sort of peters out by the end.
In Cafe Society, the martinis are dry, stunning women fall for weirdos and irritating people are shot in the head and dumped in concrete, but all in good fun.
You'll end up feeling about the film like Bobby about Los Angeles - "half-bored, half-fascinated". And that's a pretty poor average, even for two poorly stitched-together films.
- Cafe Society will screen in cinemas in October.
Rating: 1/5 stars.
