Gorgeous Me: Loving others starts with yourself

Making time for an indulgent bath can help you relax and feel feminine, which can help with body confidence.

How women feel about themselves and their body has a direct correlation to their level of intimacy.

If you feel great about yourself and you like or love your body, then you are more likely to enjoy and seek intimacy.

So it is sad when so many women have hang-ups about their body and are such harsh critics of themselves.

I've heard of women getting undressed and hopping into bed in the dark because they're embarrassed about their figures.

It's your hang-up, not your partner's, and I'm sure they love you for who you are.

There are things you can do to feel better about yourself:

Focus on what's great about you and your body.

Looking at your body, what portion are your problem areas (problem to you that is) -- 10 to 20 per cent? I bet you spend well in excess of 10 to 20 per cent concerning yourself about these areas (including subconscious awareness).

Put things into perspective. Focus on the 80 to 90 per cent that is fabulous. Keep reminding yourself of the great things, daily if need be.

As well as thinking it, say it too. Repeat it over and over. Our mind is a powerful and dangerous tool - rewire it.

* Appreciate and respect your body for how truly amazing and beautiful it is.

* Never compare yourself with others.

Pamper yourself.

* A long relaxing bath with essential oils. Light candles, put on some relaxing music. Indulge.

* Add the feminine touch.

* Spray perfume on yourself.

* Paint your toe/finger nails.

* Wear gorgeous lingerie.

Lingerie can definitely make you feel beautiful and sexy.

* Wear something that makes you feel great.

* Buy yourself some flowers and tell yourself you're worth it.

* Share any concerns or anxieties with your partner.

* Plan a special date/evening and seduce your partner and yourself.

* Get in the zone - tell yourself you are gorgeous, feel sexy, switch off from other distractions.

Let your inhibitions go.

It is you and your partner, sharing special time together.

One step at a time

For some, you may prefer to take it slower - start off with kissing and cuddling. It could be as simple as snuggling on the couch watching a movie. Or holding hands. Enjoy being close and the sensation of touch.

Lisa Lyford is the founder of Gorgeous Me, free DIY personal styling and makeover advice. www.gorgeousme.co

Send your questions for Lisa to regionalfeatures@nzme.co.nz