Dannevirke: O'Keefe inspires with do it yourself message

Henare O'Keefe from Flaxmere talks to Dannevirke people working with at-risk families. Photo/Christine McKay

Poverty is not an excuse for abuse, or an excuse to fail, Henare O'Keefe told representatives of community organisations in Dannevirke last week.

Mr O'Keefe, a Flaxmere community advocate and Hastings district councillor, gave a sometimes emotional presentation, urging the community to do it for themselves.

"Don't look to local or central government, look to yourself," he said. "Brown up your thinking and say goodbye to champagne and caviar and hello to hangi. The cavalry isn't coming to Dannevirke.

"There's no help on the horizon and no knight on a big, white horse is going to ride in. If you want a solution look in the mirror. Solutions come from within."

Dannevirke's Manahi Paewai said he hopes Mr O'Keefe's visit will be a catalyst for those helping helping struggling families.

"Henare's prestige and mana proceeded him here and what he had to say will hopefully help those who work with families in our area who are struggling with life," Mr Paewai said.

Mr O'Keefe said the U-Turn Trust, formed to support his work in Flaxmere, is taking the community back one sausage at a time. "The tunu tunu [barbecue] is on the streets of Flaxmere tonight and I'm putting out the challenge to you here in Dannevirke. Find us your meanest, toughest street and we'll bring the tunu tunu down here," he said. "It's amazing what a sausage, tomato sauce and piece of bread can do."

Mr O'Keefe said his presentation was unplanned, as he preferred to "open my mouth and let my heart jump out."

Married at 18 to Pam, the girl he met in Takapau when he was 17, Mr O'Keefe admitted life hadn't always been sweet.

"I'm 60 now and life hasn't been without it's trials and tribulations because that's what marriage is."

Love, Mr O'Keefe said, is the most powerful force and at the heart of everything.

"We had three children of our own, adopted a 3-month-old who was brought to our door in the middle of the night, taken from her drug-overdosed mother, and we've raised more than 200 foster children. Some have come from Dannevirke, Takapau, Waipawa and Waipukurau and we're equally proud of them all," he said.

"Kylie who owns three Mack trucks, was told she'd never amount to anything. James, a lawyer lives in Auckland, came from a home where vicious abuse was the norm. And there's Phillip Rhodes, who won the 2007 Lexus song quest and thanks to Dame Kiri Te Kanawa, now sings with the best in the world. He's come out of a tinny house, where abuse was worse than portrayed by Jake the Muss (Once Were Warriors) to live the dream, with a very healthy bank balance."

For three years Dame Kiri paid the bills for Rhodes, allowing Henare and Pam to "just be his mum and dad".

"Parenting is a work in progress. Kids simply want to feel loved and adored and Pam and I have learnt to have a sense of humour, it's a beacon. Humour is vitally important, it's music for the soul."

Craig McDougall, the head coach and co-ordinator at the Flaxmere Boxing Academy, agreed with Mr O'Keefe that children just need to be loved.

"We're teaching them boxing and building relationships with the boys, their families and the community," he said. "You people are the ones to make the changes. Children just need to be loved and it's important everyone works collectively to find the answers for our at-risk kids and families."

Marianne Gemmell of Tararua REAP, said she was inspired by Mr O'Keefe and what he had to say.

"He's incredible, just amazing," she said.