"Don't bother about till receipts and booking calendars."
The guy at the bar will tell you they're not needed and neither are accounts for the bank.
The formula to work out your taxable income is as follows -- Income less expenses equals profit. And you pay taxes on profit. So the theory is if your expenses are higher you pay no tax. While you're at it throw away your receipts so the IRD can't prove these expenses and well, heck, why file a return anyway -- the guy at the bar will tell you he's never been audited -- yet.
Tax planning is legitimate and businesses are allowed to structure their affairs in a way that minimises the tax they pay. But tax avoidance is quite different.
Tax avoidance schemes allow people to pay extraordinary low rates of tax. Those who have had faith in tax avoidance schemes include George Michael, comedian Jimmy Carr, and David Beckham -- the guy at the pub will tell you he knows Beckham's accountant -- but they almost always result in massive fines and payments to the tax department when the schemes are unbundled.
Pubs are great places for a laugh, telling stories and a pint. Any advice you get from strangers? Just treat it as strange.
• Jeremy Tauri is an associate at Plus Chartered Accountants.