Leecreshah, 33, and partner Morgan Haapu, 48, have two children at home — a niece and a nephew they have raised for six years.
But their experience with the system had always been “lots of hui and no do-ey”.
“I didn't trust anybody. I still don't. Only because we have learned the hard way,” Leecreshah said.
“But I am thankful for this kaupapa — meeting new people and doing things I never thought I'd do.”
This learning was different, and every week for six weeks, Leecreshah and the others made sure they got to that one-hour session of Building Awesome Whanau.
The main reason was Waikirikiri School's kaihapai whanau coordinator Tui Keenan, affectionately known as “the Bulldozer”.
“If you tell her ‘no', she will come back ten-fold,” said Morgan.
“I call it getting our whanau out of our comfort zone,” Tui says. “This is not a course. This is a kaupapa to empower you and for you to go away feeling successful.”
Leecreshah agrees. “It does, it made me feel good”.
“It helped me a lot,” said Chelsea Waaka, 35, who has five children.
“The system told Chelsea, ‘you're not a good mum',” Tui said.
“The mum that I've seen has been amazing because this kaupapa allows her to be. You're not being judged. This is not the system.
“Waikirikiri School purposefully employed me in a way they're not used to. It has empowered Chelsea.”
Tui takes different groups of parents for one hour a week over six weeks.
One of the sessions is in the bush.
“I don't do swimming,” said Leecreshah, but on “bush day” she crossed a river and went home “buzzing”.
After years of working in the system, Tui now sees herself as “the “middle man” .
“Our whanau are scared of the system and don't know what they are entitled to. They tell the system what it wants to hear.”
Eddie Adams said Tui was “real, genuine help . . . there is no one else like that out there.”
Eddie and Jara Waaka, both 28, have a blended family of 10 children. The couple are about to get married.
Tui said she had seen them flourish as a couple and as parents.
The couple spoke excitedly about how their children responded positively to them taking part in Building Awesome Whanau.
“It's with real people and deals with real lives,” Eddie said.
The couple remembered when Eddie tried to pull out of one session because he and Jara had an argument.
“The Bulldozer” wouldn't let him. She called him and when he didin't answer, she popped round to their house.
It is a tactic she applies to all whanau and it works.
“Because it is more than empowering whanau, it is also about them doing life together — the good and the bad, said Tui.
“This group from early on were honest with each other.”
Every week they'd share their failings.
“And our failings were hilarious,” said Ruby Neshausen, 26, who said this kaupapa was something everyone needed to do.
Laughter played a big part each week as stories of naughty children, and positive outcomes were shared.
Eddie said a highlight was learning about ‘love languages' — finding out what each child's ‘love language' was.
Another of their “homework” exercises was to give each child three minutes of undivided attention each day.
Jara said they would ask their children about how their day was and what was going on for them at home.
Their kids responded positively and would try to get home first after school for it, she said.
The other added benefit was the children were so satisfied that they demanded less attention for the rest of the day, Eddie said,
Morgan said most kids were used to their parents being “growly”.
“But going through this, you have to come down to the kids' level and see what the kids want.”
The connections will be kept as their children all attend Waikirikiri School, and the kids all love “Koka Tui”.
Tui shared with the group at their break-up lunch this week about her recent monthly meeting with her supervisor.
“I told my supervisor excitedly, ‘I'm wearing their (the parents) glasses'.
Seeing the world through their eyes.
“You can't learn it out of a text book.
“They've taught me so much. I view life totally different.”
