He is all smiles in public but Dan Carter admits "behind closed doors" he is still struggling to come to terms with his World Cup-ending injury.
Carter faced the media yesterday for the first time since his groin injury ended his World Cup dream with the All Blacks and he told a packed news conference of the moment he injured himself during goalkicking practice at the All Blacks captain's run on Saturday prior to their test against Canada in Wellington on Sunday.yesterday.
Carter also explained how he felt to be named captain of the All Blacks for the test, only to have that cruelly denied him too.
Although he appeared upbeat yesterday, he said the mental anguish was still very raw, but he just had to accept it and move on. He also suggested that he could have one last crack at World Cup glory at the tournament in England in 2015.
"I knew it was pretty serious just because of the pain," he said.
"I've kicked thousands of balls since I was a young fella and I've never had this happen. After kicking the ball I just felt it pop, hence going to ground in agony.
"It's pretty challenging," he said of the pain of being ruled out for the rest of the tournament. "I'm pretty happy I've got some good people around me - my teammates, the management here, so many friends and family from around New Zealand have been so really supportive and they really help me move on.
"Obviously it's really gut-wrenching and disappointing what has happened. I just have to get over that and help the guys out wherever I can."
"I've had no adductor or groin problems in the past so for this to happen is really tough. If you're asking why did this happen, I don't have the answer unfortunately.
"I was just going through my normal routine. It was actually shorter than usual. I normally kick 15-20 balls at the captain's run but I was only having four at this time around and it was my fourth kick. I didn't know what happened to be honest."
Carter agreed he appeared positive in public, but added: "It's a little bit different behind closed doors, I tend to let out my frustrations a bit. But being around the team really spurs me on to think positively and to try to help them out. Moping around isn't going to help them.
"But lying in bed on Saturday night was pretty tough. Looking back on what was probably one of the most craziest days of my life - being made All Blacks captain is something very special and to have that taken away from me through injury and later to find out that my dream of being involved in the World Cup was now over ... so it has been a pretty tough couple of days."
Carter said it was important for him to let his family and friends know the news on Saturday night before it was revealed to the media.
World Cup protocols dictate that Carter must leave the squad once Aaron Cruden joins it, but he will stay in Auckland to see his medical specialist and go to the remaining All Blacks games - starting with their quarter-final against Argentina at Eden Park on Saturday.
He said he was sure Graham Henry could find him a role as an unofficial analyst. Carter said his back-up Colin Slade was an able replacement, but he felt for him.
"I feel sorry for him. He's getting a lot of talk, comparing us and things like that. He's a great player and deserves his spot. He's got an opportunity to go out now and play his own game. He's got the support of the guys in the squad.
"I encourage everyone to move on. I have and am disappointed but I'm here to help the team and that's what everyone should move on to. Hopefully talking to you guys today will put an end to it.
"We're in the play-offs, anything can happen, we effectively have a final on Sunday so we've just to go out there and give it our all."
Carter finished on a positive note, saying he could have one final tilt at the William Webb Ellis in four years. "Talking to [NZRU chief executive] Steve Tew last night, he was pretty happy about signing me for another four years. But who knows?"