Stephanie Worsop: Too old to spill the tea - or even know what it means

Slang language is always changing so it can be a hard thing to keep up with as you get older. Photo / Getty Images

A young cousin of mine sat down next to me at a family do recently and said, "I'm about to spill the tea".

My first thought was, "love, the coffee table is right there, just put it down".

But she then proceeded to tell me how her friend Jake was simping after this girl Stacey, even though Stacey totally stanned this older guy Ryan and thought Jake was thirsty.

So my cousin tried to set Jake up with another girl, Olivia, who looked snatched at a recent party but Jake rejected her and Olivia was high key salty about it.

I nodded my head politely, all the while wondering if my cousin was suffering from a concussion because I didn't understand a word of what she was saying.

Then I realised, with dawning horror, that I was the problem.

I don't know what slang is being used anymore.

I'm old!

It's quite a disconcerting experience having a conversation with a teenager. It's almost as though they are speaking a language that's not entirely English.

You can kind of pick up their meaning, but you're still left wondering whether you responded in the right way.

I'm in my late 20s but I frequently forget I haven't been a teenager in almost a decade so I find myself lured into a false sense of security that I'm still up to play with all the cool slang.

I'm even on Tik Tok. My algorithm may be cute animals, DIY projects and artists but I know who Charlie D'Amelio is and I can even do the renegade!

But then you interact with teenagers in the real world and that false sense of security quickly shatters.

Not only do they see you as a fully-fledged adult ("I can't even imagine being 28 Steph, it's so old") but when you try to speak their slang, they give you that same pitying look you give your grandma when showing her how to operate her smart TV.

And heavens forbid you let slip an outdated slang word, like rando, swagger or deets - all words in common use when I was at high school - you may as well put in an application for your nearest retirement village.

I imagine parents of teenagers have an easier time keeping up with the play because it becomes the only way to communicate with their child.

But as somebody with very few young people in my life at the moment, I have to rely on Urban Dictionary to keep up.

Perhaps I need to just accept that in the eyes of anyone younger than 20, I am positively geriatric, just as all 28-year-olds were when I was 16.

On the other hand, surely there's no harm in my wanting to stay relevant? As long as I know what each slang word means, I can't go wrong.

As the youth of today would say: I'm going to lowkey slay this, periodt (not a typo).