RURAL REPORT: Fine line between pet and pork

You have a patch of dirt and you're looking forward to living the good life, growing your own fresh fruit and vegetables and eating your own eggs and meat. It's your dream and you can't wait.
A likely first choice for non-vegetarian lifestylers is to have one or two pigs. Unlike cows, which require a larger area, and sheep that require good fencing, pigs (with the right enclosure) can be kept on even the smallest of blocks in a rural zone.
There are council bylaws to comply with - mostly with regard to the distance of the enclosure from the neighbour's boundary or dwelling, and effluent disposal.
But be warned - never underestimate the power of pig persuasion or "piggy love". The problem is that pigs can be so cute and make such great pets that when the time comes you can't bring yourself to kill them. And even if you harden up and have the deed done, you can't face eating the meat.
That's true. I've seen many a Kiwi bloke turn green at the sight of Porky on his plate.
Speaking from my own experience, Violet and Pansy travelled 600km on a tarpaulin in the back of my ute when I relocated to Whakatane a decade back.
Stopping for watering and fresh-air breaks they provided much amusement for passersby, who couldn't resist giving them a pat.
Precious, saved from Bay of Plenty's big flood in 2004, spent two weeks right beside the house on the only hillock that wasn't under water. She is still alive today. Classes of local school kids visit her every year to say hello and have a ride.
The best advice if you are going to eat them is to treat them kindly but don't make pets of them.
Pigs are very clean animals, have personalities and can be very friendly.
They toilet themselves in the same spot of their pen and can even be house-trained. They love to roll in mud to keep cool - pigs don't sweat, so like to cool down by rolling in mud or water.
Also, pigs are only as smelly as their surroundings.
Provide them with a water bath or trough and straw (barley is best - don't use hay as it goes mouldy) on a concrete floor.
All you will need is a hose and shovel every day to keep everything spick and span.
If you are going to free-range them and you don't want your paddocks dug up by snouts you will need to put a ring in their noses (yes - it's a body piercing and you may need an expert).
Better still, free-range them on some rough scrub-covered ground with a bit of woodland for shelter and they will be as happy as pigs in mud.
No matter where you keep them, they do require good shelter from the weather and good fencing to keep them in whatever enclosure you choose. They have little hair and can get very sunburned if they have no shade.
They do make very good pets, but be sensible. Even the quietest and friendliest of animals can bite if hurt, are in pain or are frightened.
It's unwise to leave young children unsupervised with adult animals. A sow is very protective of her young and can bite or become aggressive if she feels her piglets are threatened, as can an adult boar in some circumstances.
Pigs have extremely strong jaws and tusk teeth that can do severe damage. It really is a matter of being animal-wise.
External parasites such as fleas, lice and mange can cause problems, so if your pigs show signs of itchy skin or skin lesions, consult a vet.
As with all livestock, internal worms can build up, especially in young pigs, but can be easily treated with an anthelmintic drench.
If you are keeping your pigs long term you will need to trim their hooves from time to time. Overgrown hooves or cracked hooves lead to lameness.
Household scraps may be fed to pigs, but you must not feed meat, or food waste that has come into contact with meat unless it has been boiled for an hour to destroy any bacteria or viruses.
Pigs love scraps but do best if fed a balanced diet.
A combination of garden vegetables and house scraps along with commercially produced feed - available as organic or non organic - is a good way to go about their feeding routine.