Recently, one of my closest friends had a "significant" birthday. We couldn't celebrate as planned with a trip to Queenstown (thanks, Covid) and couldn't be together, as she lives in Auckland and I don't.
Given the significance of the day, it was disappointing not to be able to celebrate properly but I am sure we will in the future.
But the missed birthday got me thinking about life and in particular friendships. I have known my friend for a very long time, almost 30 years.
This year it felt like a milestone not only for her but for our friendship and I reminisced for a few days about the special – and less special - moments in our relationship over the years.
We met in London while on our respective OEs. And in the – oh, so many – intervening years we have lived together, laughed together, and at times cried together.
We have supported each other through weddings – and break-ups, births – and funerals. We hitchhiked the length of Africa when we were young and fearless.
As part of my trip down memory lane, I dug through some photos and was taken aback by how brave we were when we were young. From hitching a ride on a truck through the Tete Corridor in Mozambique to sleeping on beaches in Greece, we seemed to have no fear.
I'd like to think that bravery remains but I know it is now tempered with the caution that life experience brings.
They say friends are the family we choose and I like the idea of that – it seems to give us freedom to decide who we have in our lives.
As we get older it gets harder to meet people. We are all time poor and making new friends takes time and effort. Most people have their group of pals and are content with them.
But every now and then you come across someone who you just know will be a lifelong friend and somehow you make it work.
As I was writing this, I googled the term friendship and this is what came up: "A state of enduring affection, esteem, intimacy, and trust between two people. It is recognised by both members of the relationship and is characterised by a bond or tie of reciprocated affection. It is not obligatory; two individuals choose to form a friendship with each other."
Now, that is a little clinical in its description but does sum it up quite well, nevertheless.
When it comes to friends it is easy to take them for granted but I can say that I truly feel blessed for the amazing, strong woman that I shared so many moments in my life with.
All the living we have done together is why I know we will, with luck, be friends for another 30 years.