Lockdown Week 3 and we're starting to find the stupidest things funny.
We were watching the news the other night and listening to one of Australia's top cops deliver some serious speech.
Only thing is, instead of saying coronavirus or Covid-19, he accidentally called it Corona-19.
We laughed and laughed, and now we can't stop saying Corona-19.
Someone down the road has a signboard on their balcony saying "Covid-19, you dick".
"Corona-19, you dick" the kids screech and giggle as they cycle past.
That has always been their favourite part of that ad (thank you How to Dad Jordan Watson).
And I say "always" because how long does it feel now that we've been watching that ad?
We also reckon Pak'nSave's Covid-19 Stickman is way cooler than any other Stickman they've had.
Yes, life is shrinking to little things and we're living for Lego Masters USA on Thursday nights.
How devastating was it seeing that 14-storey tower topple in Episode 5?
At the end, my son said, "I'm going to die having to wait another week."
I wasn't going to tell him he could probably put himself out of his misery by searching Episode 6 on YouTube.
Instead, I did that old person thing and said, "When I was a kid, that was how all TV was. You had to wait a week to see the next episode."
But even for me, Week 3 has felt extra-long.
It seems an age ago that the news emerged about the Health Minister going mountain-biking and driving 20km to the beach.
"David Clark, you dick" was all I could think.
The Queen on the other hand lifted my spirits and made all the other royals look like amateurs with her speech from Windsor Castle.
I loved that it was only the fifth time in her reign she had given a special address.
She looked so regal (goes without saying) in her green dress, pearls and brooch.
I told the kids how her and her sister recorded a message for the children of London in 1940 as they prepared to be shipped off to the countryside in the Blitz.
I loved that this time she ended by saying "we will meet again".
Only one 93-year-old could be so uplifting.
Jacinda has also risen to even greater heights in my mind during Week 3.
That thing about Australians demanding to be annexed by New Zealand and renamed the Big Island has been floating around since the start of lockdown, but how great was it when The Washington Post said, "New Zealand isn't just flattening the curve. It's squashing it."
Jacinda's Easter-Bunny-as-essential-worker message will also go down in history, even Tony Blair's press secretary Alastair Campbell recognising it as a master stroke.
Apart from the Queen and Jacinda, my other favourites are the Buchanans of Wellington.
How good is their Family Lockdown Boogie. https://www.instagram.com/p/B-gUXggpxDn/
And how funny is the guy called Max who wrote Ashley Bloomfield (A Love Song).
An isolation jam about Max wanting to join Ashley's bubble, I burned a pot of sushi rice watching it, I got so distracted.
Did you know people in northern India are able to see the Himalayas for the first time in a generation? Loving that no-pollution buzz, too.
And how cool that masks are becoming de rigueur.
I lived in Japan for six years and already think masks are the bomb. I don't care what the science says, if you're riding a train packed full of people, I'd much rather be wearing a mask than not when someone coughs in my face.
So, the week felt near-to-complete when a friend dropped three masks she had sewed in our letterbox.
She's a professional pattern designer and has been making them for all her friends.
My daughter had already fashioned one out of a dress she didn't like but the set made by my friend are next level – they have pleats.
To round out the week, my neighbour dropped the best Chelsea buns I've ever tasted on our doorstep.
Full of cinnamon, sugar and butter, they made Good Friday great.
My sister has sent bunnies for the kids and a gourmet box of chocolates for me
Life is complete.
- Juliet Rowan is a former Bay of Plenty Times and New Zealand Herald journalist.