39-year-old Nadine Shine has founded the Big Fella Foundation to support those struggling with mental health. Photo / Mead Norton
39-year-old Nadine Shine has founded the Big Fella Foundation to support those struggling with mental health. Photo / Mead Norton
Trigger warning: this story mentions suicide
Pāpāmoa mother Nadine Shine has a hope - she wants men to "speak up" when they are mentally struggling and to help them get the support they need.
The 39-year-old recently started the Big Fella Foundation in memory of her husband Justin, who diedat the end of 2017 after a mental health battle - he was 42 and a father of six.
The Tauranga charity organisation aims to provide peer support for people who are struggling with their mental health, and for their families.
Its team of volunteers would do "anything that would take the stress off" such as talking, hanging out or helping out around the house.
As part of men's health week this week, Shine said she wanted to "build a community to help everyone".
"If we can save one person it's worth it."
Nadine Shine hopes to "build a community to help everyone" through the Big Fella Foundation. Photo / Mead Norton
Formerly a teacher, Shine now owns Grounded cafe in Pāpāmoa. The cafe will become a place where people who are struggling can go and be paired with a volunteer at the Big Fella Foundation.
There were about 20 volunteers at the organisation so far who had backgrounds such as those studying mental health, women with partners who have struggled with mental health and older men "who wished that there was something for them when they were younger," Shine said.
According to the Mental Health Foundation, men are three to four times more likely to die by suicide than women in New Zealand.
Justin's mental health battle began in 2017, during which time he disappeared several times for a few days and then return home. He struggled with sleeping and spent time at the mental health unit at Tauranga Hospital, where he regularly saw a psychiatrist.
While Justin got support in the unit, Shine found when he was at home, there were not enough places to turn.
Shine is hoping to plug this gap with the Big Fella Foundation, which she named after Justin as he was her "big fella" and was six foot six.
Nadine Shine pictured with her husband Justin. Photo / Supplied
When Justin was struggling with his mental health, Shine said she was "always scared" to leave him, for example, when she had to pick her children up.
"I struggled when Justin was going up and down because I've got kids. I either have to not be there for Justin or not be there for my kids."
One day, Shine took her children to go swimming and left Justin at home.
"But if I had someone [who] could've taken the kids to swimming for me or come and sat with Justin, who knows?"
In her view, Shine said men found it hard to "speak up" as they didn't want to look "soft".
"We've still got that real rugby culture."
Shine hopes to change that and said she can be contacted "any time" at the Big Fella Foundation.
She is planning to climb the Mount 47 times at Labour Weekend to commemorate Justin's 47th birthday which would have been next month. Any money she raises will go towards the foundation.
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
For counselling and support
Lifeline: Call 0800 543 354 or text 4357 (HELP) Suicide Crisis Helpline: Call 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) Need to talk? Call or text 1737 Depression helpline: Call 0800 111 757 or text 4202
For children and young people
Youthline: Call 0800 376 633 or text 234 What's Up: Call 0800 942 8787 (11am to 11pm) or webchat (11am to 10.30pm) The Lowdown: Text 5626 or webchat
For help with specific issues
Alcohol and Drug Helpline: Call 0800 787 797 Anxiety Helpline: Call 0800 269 4389 (0800 ANXIETY) OutLine: Call 0800 688 5463 (0800 OUTLINE) (6pm-9pm) Safe to talk (sexual harm): Call 0800 044 334 or text 4334
All services are free and available 24/7 unless otherwise specified.
For more information and support, talk to your local doctor, hauora, community mental health team, or counselling service.
