Epic fail as fail fails to keep being cool

OMG, I'm totes going to get maggot as this weekend with that sick skux.
Come again?
If you're struggling to keep up with the latest teen speak, you're not alone.
Teenagers have had their own slang since time began but the advent of text messaging and the internet age has meant language is evolving faster than ever before.
By the time the over 25s crack on to a word, chances are it's already out of favour - epic fail, dude.
For those not in the know, the opening sentence means: "Oh my God, I'm totally going to get drunk this weekend with that attractive guy."
If you're not "maggot as", you could also be "gone" - another word used for drunk.
The Bay of Plenty Times spoke to a group of Otumoetai College Year 11 students, all aged 15, to get a snapshot of the latest teen speak.
Some words have had their meanings turned on their heads.
"Mean" and "sick" are both popular words for "cool", while "sweet" is "extra cool".
"Sick, as in, that's so cool. [Adults] are like, 'what, you are sick?'." Morgan McAneny said.
Other trends include a tendency to shorten words - "totes" for totally, "mabes" for maybe and "prob" for probably.
Sophie Meyer said many of the words were said subconsciously. But when people deliberately tried to say them to be cool, it had the opposite effect.
"If someone said 'OMG it was totes cool', that's not cool. It's a try-hard thing."
When it comes to an attractive guy, the words "spunk" and "babe" still have currency, together with the more unusual "skux".
A girlfriend is a boy's "missus", while he is her "man".
If a couple gets really amorous, they might "get their mack on" or "get with" each other.
Forget about geeks and nerds - these days the school wallflower is more likely to be described as "just a straight-up loser", according to Morgan.
In January, a survey of 200 teen users of the social networking site Habbo Hotel found "fail" was the second-most popular teenage buzzword.
The word was used an an expression of disapproval for something, with "epic fail" the highest form of failing.
But typically of the fast-moving nature of "teenglish", that expression is now "done", according to the Otumoetai College teens.
"It's kind of like everyone starts saying [slang words] and then no one says it anymore," Sophie said.
The teens all agreed that the quickest way to make a word uncool was to hear it used by a teacher, parent or "loser".
"My mum texted me 'have a good time at school LOL'. I said, 'why is that funny?' She thought it meant 'lots of love'," Morgan scoffed.
"It's like, don't even try. This isn't going to help you bring back your youth."
The "worst thing", Sophie added, was when adults "try to bring back their cool words", such as "rad".
The teens were also scathing of their peers who used text-speak verbally.
Some people said "LOL" in speech, instead of actually laughing out loud.
"They say 'that's funny, LOL'. Well, obviously you are not LOL-ing," Sophie said. The good news for those struggling to keep up is that some words haven't changed, like the word "cool", which the teens say will "live forever".
"Awesome" is also still popular.
Otumoetai College acting principal Bruce Farthing said teenagers often spoke in "code".
Mr Farthing, who caused the students to snigger when he referred to a mobile phone as a "text machine", said it was easy for teachers to stumble.
"The reality is it has become hard for staff who are over 50 in the last five years [to keep up with teen speak]. We are actually denying reality if we say it hasn't.
"I think the language has changed, because the means of using language has changed. Texting has brought about a significant change."
Text abbreviations had spilt over into the spoken word, Mr Farthing said.
But language had always evolved and was "constantly changing".
Elizabeth Gordon, retired Associate Professor of Linguistics at Canterbury University, said teen slang was part of belonging.
"There comes a point when you stop using the latest slang. It seems to happen by the time you get into your mid to late 20s, when there's no point in trying to keep up with the latest teen slang and you don't use it anymore."
There had been some "amazing" changes in meaning over the years, she said.
"I have now been told that the word sick has been used for good.
"I can remember when my children were young [in the late 1970s] being really astounded to hear my bacon and eggs described as wicked. The meaning of the word gay has evolved from cheerful, to homosexual, to stupid."
Using the latest word put you in the "in group", she said.
SAY WHAT?
TEEN SPEAK:
mean - awesome
sick - awesome
woot - yay
mabes - short for maybe
totes - short for totally
probs - short for probably
maggot as - drunk
gone - drunk
spunk - attractive guy
skux - attractive guy
get your mack on - to have sex
my man - my boyfriend
gay - bad
fail - bad
OMG - short for Oh My God
ALG - text speak for All good
chur - indicates agreement, "sweet as"
SLANG FROM THE AGES:
No longer cool: rad, primo, choice, wicked, super, neat, extra-curly.