Enid shares her path from abuse

By Anna Bowden
Enid Holst has tracked her way out of a hellish cycle of violence - and now she wants to help other women find their own pathway.
The Omokoroa woman has just had her book published - Tracking out of Hell ... Breaking the Cycle of Abuse - which she hopes will encourage other women to take her advice and break free.
While she says it is not intended to be a "magic bullet" that will solve problems instantly, it is a work of encouragement and self-belief which she says is missing from the lives of those hurt by abuse.
The Omokoroa woman has led a shocking life of violence that first began with fear created by her violent, alcoholic father.
She recalls being sexually abused by him about age 10. When her mother learned of it she left with the nine children and became one of the first New Zealanders to receive a government benefit.
Her father set fire to the house where his family had sought sanctuary, was imprisoned and later died from an alcohol-related condition.
But this was not the end of the violence, with Mrs Holst later taking out her anger and unhappiness on her own children.
Difficult marriages also stretched her emotional well-being and it was not until she broke from her third marriage that she began real, positive growth.
In 1997 she met her fourth husband. They lived in the Coromandel, where several high-profile child abuse cases prompted her to launch a women's centre, still running in Whangamata.
Having moved to the Western Bay, Mrs Holst is now completing an English degree at Waikato University.
She began writing her book four years ago prompted by her own questions - why some people continued the cycle while others flourished in success.
She concluded that "seeds" of ideas were planted by influential people: "I had my grandfather ... outside of the trauma of what was going on in the house, there was a glimpse of something else. If you don't get a glimpse how can you know what to aim for?"
Enlightenment has resulted in the devising of her own steps to healing including fear, purpose, judgment and spiritual awakening.
The life lessons, she says, are aimed at helping women cope with abuse and giving them strategies toward fostering self-belief and value.
"It doesn't just happen like that," she says snapping her fingers.
"It's like waking up, you do it in small steps."
She says while her life has been a challenge, each step along the way has been a piece of her personal jigsaw: "You cannot change your past, what you can do is change the way you look at it ... My one regret is that it has taken me so long to get here."
* Holst's book Tracking out of Hell ... Breaking the Cycle of Abuse is at Crystal Dreams on Grey St, Tauranga, $13.50