Dawn Picken: Own your age

Dame Helen Mirren is unapologetic about her age. Photo/File

How old am I? I could be cagey and say I'm somewhere on the back side of 40. I'm pondering - for the good of society and my career - when do I stop telling people my real age?

I recently updated my Google privacy settings.

I was worried the age bracket in which the snooping Master of the cyber-verse had placed me (correctly) might put me at risk of seeing advertisements for retirement villages, adult nappies and skirted togs.

I'm not ready for any of those (and neither, I suspect, are many of you). So I got in my time machine (i.e., clicked my mouse) and turned back the clock a decade. Maybe now I'll see ads for island apartments, feminine hygiene products and one-piece swimsuits with mesh inserts. Two out of three ain't bad.

Foil the digital marketers. But why hide age from friends and acquaintances? I've noticed, especially in the past couple years as a reporter in age-friendly Bay of Plenty, men have no quibble telling their age.

I don't always want that biographical info and skip the question when it doesn't matter. Sometimes though, it's hard to avoid, like when the story is about people working past age 65.

Several businesswomen I've interviewed recently have declined to reveal their age. That's their choice.

It's sad, the layer of secrecy with which some of us feel necessary to shroud ourselves - like a burqa - while our male compatriots proclaim, "I'll be 72 in four months" (men tend to project their age into the future).

Women in their 30s and 40s usually raise no issue if I ask how old they are. Many have achieved success in careers while raising a family and for them, age is just another fact.

Yet some females aged 50-plus believe disclosing that number could mean career suicide. One woman I interviewed for a story a couple weeks ago skirted the age question, saying, "I'd tell you if I weren't running a business..."

Maybe I'd be more guarded about my age if I still earned a living in television, as I did in the US. Since the days of the cathode ray tube, then colour, plasma, LCD and now HDTV on projector screens, the age issue looms large for TV presenters.

Men and women in the US and UK have won court cases after proving their employer canned them for a younger model. I asked a friend who works in television in Los Angeles how big of a deal age is for her.

"Huge," she said. "Men are revered for their age. It's still a double standard."

It's different here, right? New Zealand and many other countries have human rights legislation prohibiting discrimination on the basis of age. And as the Bay of Plenty Times reported earlier this week, the number of people in Tauranga over 65 is expected to reach almost one-third of the population by 2033, up from 19.5 per cent in 2013. By 2063 the proportion of over-65s will be nearly 43 per cent and the number of over-85s will significantly increase. Coming soon: ageism's death.

Yeah, right.

Compare it with the obesity epidemic: we're getting fatter but we idolise thin. As we collectively grow older, do we lionise youth? It doesn't have to be that way.

How do we celebrate our more senior members if we don't know how old they are? I want to be able to look at a runner/business owner/board member/grandmother and say, "She's 73, and she's a doer. That could be me some day."

I watched the movie Collateral Beauty a couple nights ago, starring Dame Helen Mirren (aged 71) and Will Smith (aged 48). Dame Helen is still radiant on-screen and unapologetic about age off-screen. She was quoted shortly before her 70th birthday saying, "Your 40s are good. Your 50s are great. Your 60s are fab. And 70 is f****** awesome."

I hope my generation feels valued enough and empowered enough to be open about age 20 years from now. To own the years, the achievements, the scars and even the wrinkles (grey hair is optional; unlike Dame Helen, I don't suit blonde or silver). Maybe my peers and I can be the change we seek.

I'm 46 years old. How old are you?

*Dawn Picken also writes for the Bay of Plenty Times Weekend and tutors at Toi Ohomai. She's a former TV journalist and marketing director who lives in Papamoa with her husband, two school-aged children and a dog named Ally.