Presents and presence

We called the summer of 2007-08 "the summer of weddings".
Of course there was the big one - our own - but on top of that, we attended three other nuptials.
And while it is accepted that you spend a fortune on your own big day, what we quickly learned was that the dollars soon rack up, even if you are a guest.
There's the present, travel costs, accommodation, the hens' night or stag do, new outfit, engagement present, hen's night present - the list goes on.
So it's no surprise that a survey released by Hotels.com shows that 15 per cent of Kiwis spend more than $1000 a year attending weddings.
Our "summer of weddings" backs that up - we travelled to Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch to watch our friends tie the knot.
Then there was the hen's night in Martinborough, three gifts, three outfits, and time off work.
According to Katherine Birch, marketing manager of Hotels.com, it's a common scenario.
"The financial burden of attending weddings of friends and families is often underestimated, especially as more and more couples are choosing to have 'destination' weddings overseas or [in another part of the country]".
A trend towards extravagant hens and stag parties had also pushed up the cost of attending a wedding, she said.
Forget the traditional night out - today's brides are having cocktail-making lessons, stylist's workshops, and bungy jumping.
Tauranga wedding planner Renee Paterson said there had been a shift away from boozy nights out for hen and stag nights, towards weekends away and activities like winery tours.
"It's a lot more expensive so usually ends up being close friends and family, and the bridal party."
Mrs Paterson said the standard amount spent on a wedding present was about $100.
And the popularity of "wishing wells", in which guests place cash gifts, meant most people gave a larger amount.
Diane Bedford, of Avec Amour Wedding Planners in Tauranga, said weddings, and the build up to weddings, had become more elaborate.
It could be expensive for bridesmaids, who were sometimes asked to pay for their own dress, shoes, hair and makeup.
But even guests were forking out more on everything associated with a wedding, she said.
"They get a new outfit, and then shoes to go with the outfit, and a handbag to match. You've got your pre-dinner the night before, breakfast the next day. It definitely can add up. It just goes on and on."
According to the survey, 60 per cent said that attending a wedding required spending a night away from home. More than half had travelled within New Zealand to attend a wedding, and almost two in five travelled overseas to watch a loved one say "I do".
And given the cost involved, it's unsurprising to hear that almost half of all respondents said they had declined an invitation, at least once, because of the cost.
The Pacific Islands is the most popular destination wedding location, followed by Europe, Asia, America and Canada.
Ms Birch advised creating a "wedding guest budget" so you don't break the bank.
As for our "summer of weddings", it was worth every cent to celebrate with our friends on their big days.
It made us appreciate the time and money our own guests had spent to travel to watch us tie the knot.
And we're hopeful that one day an invitation will arrive for a destination wedding - the perfect excuse for an island holiday.
Get your copy of today's Bay of Plenty Times for valuable ideas on how to save money as a wedding guest.