Can you remember catching your first fish?
If you haven't ever caught one then you need to sit immediately in the nearest chair and have a deep, quiet, chat with yourself about your life choices.
Are you even a Kiwi? Who are you anymore? I know plenty of people who haven't even been on a boat, let alone been for a fish reel one in.
Who is friends with anyone, let alone multiple people, who haven't been on a boat in NZ?
We live on an island!
My first fish was caught underneath the Paremata train bridge just north of Wellington, in an old plastic 'bait-catcher'. I was stoked.
Following that I remember my fist spotty caught on a line consisting of a million tiny hooks. There were so many hooks in the water attached to my line that it was fair for the poor little buggers.
It's like having a night out with mates when you're on a diet. You try to avoid the McDonalds at the end of it, but you fail every time. The temptation was overwhelming.
Last Sunday I was lucky enough to MC the Tauranga Fish & Dive Club's Placemakers & The Hits Kids Fishing Competition and it was freaking great.
There was a little fella there (all of about four years old) who had just caught his first fish ever. It was a tiny wee spotty and he was as proud as you or I would've been if we'd brought in a 300kg marlin.
Well that's not quite true. If I'd brought in any marlin whatsoever I'd be well sauced in celebration by the time I made it back to land! All the rest is the same.
I asked the little guy where he'd caught that. He looked at me like I was the dumbest adult he'd ever met and, with all the contempt of a 15 year old who thinks he's an adult said: 'In the water'. Then rolled his eyes and walked away.
Deserved that answer though didn't I?
Will Johnson is the local radio announcer for the Hits Bay of Plenty.