GIRL TALK: Column

It's what's on the outside that counts
It's not how the world sees you, it's how you see yourself.
In my opinion, this slogan for Bendon lingerie was one of the advertising world's crowning achievements: a promotional slogan that not only made you feel good about yourself, but justified a woman's insatiable appetite to spend large amounts of money on very small items of clothing that go unseen by the majority and unappreciated by the minority for whom they were intended.
The now-ancient advertising campaign featured women with ordinary lives but extraordinary busts going about their daily lives with a naughty little secret: incredibly sexy lingerie.
For years since, the campaign has stayed with me and accompanied me on many shopping expeditions where I have happily purchased unnecessary tat not for other people to admire but for me.
The reality is, though, that as much as we can enthusiastically support the concept of dressing and in fact just living for ourselves alone, the way we are perceived by others does actually matter.
This became especially apparent today after some major dental work left me with a numb mouth and the distinct feeling that my lips were so swollen they were entering the room a good half minute before the rest of my body.
Although this wasn't the case, such was my own feeling that I hid myself away in my studio until the anaesthetic wore off, convinced that I looked like I'd had an especially angry argument with a hive of disgruntled bees.
The same thing happens when I have a pimple. Although it may be a fairly insignificant event on a global scale, to me it is such a monumentally horrific incident that I feel compelled to hide behind all sorts of creative hair accessories and apologise to everyone I meet for offending them with my sebaceous excesses.
Which of course only draws their attention to something they might otherwise not have noticed but, as we all know, the fear that someone else might think that WE have not noticed it ourselves is a far more embarrassing prospect.
We've all had days when a nasty little whitehead has reared its sinister head without our notice, and I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that if I see one on someone else, my eyes become drawn to it in a way that is obvious and offensive and yet completely beyond my control.
Years can pass and I may forget names, occupations and general appearance but I will always remember a person for the overwhelming dilemma they presented me with: should I tell them about their whitehead or should I just pretend it isn't there?
Of course, we all opt for the latter, which makes the moment of realisation in front of the bathroom mirror later that night all the more mortifying.
And so, on further reflection, I have to conclude that although clever in a way that has parted me with more cash than I care to think about and left me with more lacy knickers than I will ever need, Bendon got it wrong: how the world sees you really does count.
A survey I read about once concluded that when offered a significant salary increase or the word "manager" in their job title, most people opted for the latter.
We care what others think and this really is a jolly nuisance. Especially when I skipped breakfast and am dying for a coffee but daren't show my face for fear my giant jubey lips give me away.
Eva Bradley is an award-winning columnist.