Facebook could leave you down

Social networking sites like Facebook have allowed us unprecedented access into other people's lives.
And while everyone else seems to be having happy holidays, hunky husbands and fabulous friends, it's leaving some people feeling lonely and inadequate.
It's not surprising that more and more people are experiencing "digital depression", according to Tauranga clinical psychologist Hans Laven.
It is all part of "information overload", he said.
"I suppose people have always felt left out to some degree. But being able to access all the popular people's Facebook pages and have it emphasised to them, makes it harder."
An Australian women's magazine found that 77 per cent of readers admitted to being insecure or jealous after looking at other people's Facebook profiles.
And 20 per cent said they had felt depressed because of internet use or addiction.
The amount of information available on people's Facebook pages could be overwhelming, Mr Laven said.
"If you have just met someone and are talking to them, you are not going to get the same concentration of that positive image.
"They are not necessarily going to tell you about that great party and show you the photos. But on Facebook, that's what you get."
Mr Laven said dating websites also left some people feeling bad about themselves.
He encouraged clients to go on dating websites to try to meet people.
But people who were "a bit shy" or socially unconfident could feel overwhelmed.
"They will come back and say 'I read all these profiles and everybody's into all these activities and sports. I don't think I can keep up'.
"They don't realise that the image being presented is not necessarily that accurate; it's skewed.
"I guess someone who lives a fairly boring life wouldn't put that on their Facebook [or dating profile]. People are presenting a very manufactured image of themselves."
And if you really got to know these fabulous and popular people, chances are you'd find they had the same sorts of insecurities and problems as you, he said.
Almost anyone could present themselves in a positive way, he said.
"People should remember maybe if they had bothered to get photographs of things they had gone to over the last year or two, they could probably put quite a desirable Facebook page together too.
"Partly it is a matter of positive thinking - [people with positive Facebook profiles] are remembering the good things that happened in their lives and putting it forward."
Feelings of loneliness or inadequacy could also stem from too much time online and not enough real-world contact.
Some people relied on the internet for social contact but it was no substitute for having a chat and a laugh with friends, he said.
"You might be interacting but it's probably not meeting a good range of the needs we have socially.
"That's going to also contribute to also feeling disconnected from people and less confidence.
"[People need] face to face contact and spontaneous interaction and having friends to be a mirror of your acceptability and desirability."
Otumoetai College principal Dave Randell is a fan of Facebook for keeping in touch with friends and family.
But the site, and others like it, could be dangerous for vulnerable and lonely teens, he said.
Seeing friends who constantly seem to have people commenting on their photos, status updates and "liking" their every online move can make others feel isolated.
"You see these kids who are very, very popular - they are Miss Popular. And some other poor kid is sitting there [feeling small].
"It's another social pressure - it's in your face. In some ways it's very hard."
Mr Randell said it was often difficult for children to interpret the tone of information over email or social networking.
"It is scary. Some of our young people don't have the skills to use it appropriately and don't realise how it affects their friends."
He encouraged parents to talk about social networking with their kids and to make sure their computers and phones were switched off at night.
And though Facebook was a great tool for keeping in touch, face-to-face communication was always better, he said.
YOUR SAY
What gives you digital depression?
Seeing other people's overseas holidays: 43 per cent
Seeing other people having fun at parties you weren't invited to:7 per cent
Wedding and baby photos while you're still single: 7 per cent
Popular Facebook friends who attract loads of comments and "likes": 9 per cent
Everyone else's life seems more busy and exciting than yours: 14 per cent
Don't care: 20 per cent
- source: bayofplentytimes.co.nz