Coaxing the real cover girls out

Have you ever started the day feeling quite happy with yourself, then picked up a glossy magazine and, having cast your eye over all the gorgeous models and celebrities, put it down feeling like a sack of potatoes?
If you have, you are not alone.
A study in 1995 found that just three minutes looking at a fashion magazine caused 70 per cent of women to feel depressed, guilty and shameful. That is something Tauranga woman Melany Clement wants to change - one beautiful woman at a time.
The Bethlehem wedding and portrait photographer is putting together an exhibition - Beautiful Women - she hopes will improve the self-esteem of "everyday" women, by turning them into cover girls. The women will be made-up, photographed and their images airbrushed slightly to give them a more glamorous look.
Melany defends her decision to airbrush as "putting the women on a level playing field". "I am airbrushing so that we can compare apples with apples. I think the beauty goalposts have been shifted. No longer are we competing just with women who may have makeup on - there is not a single natural magazine out there," she explains.
That and the fact that her subjects are not confident enough to go "au naturel". "I would love to do an exhibition of our beautiful women with no airbrushing at all, but at the moment I don't know any ladies who are confidant enough to put themselves out there in their 'raw' form," says Melany. "We need to take baby steps with this. I am hoping this exhibition will be the first step towards not only these ladies, but also the mass media, putting themselves out there in a more natural way, rather than the completely fake pictures that seem to be the norm these days."
Any airbrushing, she says, will be minimal, compared with that in magazines. "I won't be altering the look of their faces at all, just softening and evening skin tone. Some magazines change nose shapes and jawlines, move eyes closer or further apart, plump up lips and thicken hair. I won't be doing any of that."
A busy mother of two pre-schoolers, Grace, 4, and Oliver, 2, Melany says she was inspired to do the exhibition after continually coming across camera-shy women.
"With family portraits it's always the mums who are really down on themselves. They try not to be in the photo or they want to be at the back. The dads never care what they look like. It made me feel quite sad. I thought, 'What can I do to try and improve this'?"
Having suffered from the same affliction, the slim, attractive 35-year-old says it was not until her 30s that she started to feel confident about her looks. "I look back at photos of when I was in my 20s and think, 'What a babe', but I didn't think that at the time."
TAURANGA style coach Margaret Stodart, of Personal Style, says she has a lot of clients in their 40s and 50s who feel they have "lost touch".
"I think the glamour photo thing is a lovely gift to give to you and show you can look as good as those women in magazines. We don't all live in that world and have professionals hanging over us and a two-hour makeover every morning," says Margaret.
"But it's also about how to be happy every day. We are very harsh on ourselves. We are our own worst critics."
Margaret blames a youth-driven society that does not respect ageing. "There are a lot of lonely, lonely people out there who think that's the way they should be." But, she says, "the media" is not entirely to blame. "They are just producing what we want."
Tauranga makeup artist Lillybeth Melmouth says some images of models in magazines have been altered so much that women are comparing themselves with people that don't exist.
"We carry round these images of other people and how we think we should look ... bigger eyes, fuller lips." Lillybeth says while makeup can help a woman create a "better version of herself" visually, she still needs to embrace who she is and what talents she has. "It's about knowing your intrinsic value rather than face value. It's really important to know there is a role for makeup. Changing your appearance can give you the temporary boost you might need but you need to know how to feel worthwhile and valued without it."
BARBARA Hill, a senior facilitator at Relationship Services, who teaches a self-esteem course in Tauranga, says women get fixated on what's wrong with them, rather than what's right.
"They obsess about one part of their body rather than looking at the whole package. But when we do couples weekends, you hear the men say it's the entire package they're interested in."
The "Positively Me for Women" course teaches women how to control the way they view themselves - to speak and think positively about themselves.
"They learn techniques to be less self-critical and more self-affirming, to stop any negative self-talk," explains Barbara.
"If you are fixated on how you look on the outside you will not develop the grace and integrity on the inside that will carry you right through to old age."
John Cowan, of Parents Inc, says parents have a really important role to play in building their daughters' self-esteem, particularly as they enter puberty.
"They endlessly compare themselves with each other and, even more painfully, compare themselves with the ridiculous teen icons they see in their magazines, the internet and TV shows. Youth culture does not make kids feel good about themselves. Both boys and girls get the powerful message that their quality as a person and the quality of the relationships they will have, is directly related to their appearance."
As girls enter their teens, parents should remember to compliment them often and avoid teasing. Fathers have a particularly important role to play in nurturing their daughters' self-esteem, says John.
"She will be looking to her mother to find out how to be a woman but she will be looking to her father (or some other significant male) to find out what sort of woman she is becoming. That is why it is desperately important that dads learn to transmit the messages: 'You are beautiful. You are feminine. You are intelligent. I trust you to make good decisions. You deserve the best'. If she gets these messages then they will shape her view of herself."
Parents Inc attitude presenter Olivia Boswell, who presents to high school students, says girls should be encouraged to read books and watch movies with inspirational characters who are strong, confident role models and who don't necessarily conform to the "stereotypical model look".
And children's television viewing should be monitored.
"Teach them to watch advertising and the general media with discernment. Talk about what they're seeing - ask, 'Does this reflect real life'?"
The date and venue for the Beautiful Women exhibition are yet to be confirmed. Anyone interested in sponsoring the exhibition can contact Melany through her website www.melanyclementphotography.com