By CHRIS RATTUE
If rugby is a product - and according to people in high places it is exactly that - then we all deserve a refund. Consumer rights took a severe beating in Hamilton.
Coming after the firecracker English series, watching the All Blacks play Argentina was by some way the most insipid rugby experience in this country for years.
Maybe the rugby powers have taken a leaf out their fitness trainers' books and decided that, after a wildly exciting viewing experience such as the England tests, we needed a gentle warm-down. What we got was a letdown.
For a start, Argentina didn't have a hope in hell given the number of players they had missing and the ridiculous travel arrangements. It was never going to be a contest.
In such situations you can only hope for a virtuoso All Blacks performance, to somehow find a silk purse out of a sow's ear. Instead, we got a sow's ear.
Argentina played a spoiling game, and the All Blacks lacked the vigour, combinations and forward power to overcome that.
The scariest moment came early in the second half when referee Scott Young told his fellow officials that his watch had broken. Any incident which threatened to add even another second to this tiresome test was cause for alarm.
This half-hearted operation crept up on us a week earlier when the Argentines, a charming bunch of characters, landed in New Zealand having warmed up for their 18 hours of travel by completing a test against Wales two hours before departure.
That they should even accept this bizarre arrangement only emphasised how the have-nots of world rugby - those who don't have any influence - live by the begging bowl. The status of the game was clearly shown by three Argentine backs, including star halfback Agustin Pichot, being left on the other side of the world where they helped Stade Francais win the French club title.
The All Blacks weren't in the best of shape either with new combinations and players having had little recent match time. Unfortunately, they were unable to rise above the lack of occasion.
As the test match staggered along at the superb Waikato Stadium, the All Blacks coaches made no attempt to fix a lifeless and error-riddled performance that had started so promisingly when Chris Jack galloped nearly 50m to set up a try for Mose Tuiali'i.
At about the time Young's watch got bored and gave up, this game demanded new hands on deck to get things ticking over.
Carlos Spencer or Keven Mealamu might have done the trick, but they were tucked up in their tracksuits, safe and sound on the touchline. Graham Henry and Co had pre-determined that this would be the All Blacks Limited.
They had clearly decided to test the merits and combinations of certain players, to free up rusty parts. As long as disaster in the form of test defeat wasn't about to strike, the starters were going to stay on come hell or high water.
The crowd tried to raise some ire as Argentine fullback Hernan Senillosa took a penalty shot at goal when the test was already lost, but as boos go it deserved a boo itself.
Even the attempted fight fizzled. Argentine prop Rodrigo Roncero, the medical man originally from Buenos Aires, tried his best - whirling away with his fists at a ruck. The other players hardly took any notice and Roncero turned into the flying doctor, stumbling away like a downed helicopter, propelled by his own momentum.
Even the planners stuffed up. Common sense would have dictated that this alleged test be held early enough so that the punters who were interested in what might have been a real battle, the one in Brisbane, could get home in time to enjoy it.
The good news is that the test against the Pacific Islanders in just under a fortnight may not be quite the lopsided contest it could have been.
You still suspect that All Blacks efficiency will still bury the combination from Fiji, Samoa and Tonga. However, the John Boe-coached side have put away two moderate opponents in Australia, and appear to be gelling.
But football's Euro 2004 has shown the way in world sport over the past couple of weeks and revealed again how far rugby lags behind in international status.
The series against England contained the thrills and drama we have a right to expect in return for our ticket and pay-TV money.
The dross in Hamilton, which acted as a reminder of the disgraceful treatment the minnows received at last year's World Cup, has put the credibility of rugby as a world game on the line yet again.
All Blacks test and Tri Nations schedule/scoreboard
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