What do you get when you combine a boot designed for the fastest players in the world and a striker who runs like he has a fridge attached to his back?
You get a sluggish striker of course. But, you get a sluggish striker who thinks he's a yard quicker than he actually is. Allow me to explain.
One month ago Adidas released their 'Speed of Light' series of football boots which included the X16+ PURECHAOS (for speed merchants), ACE 16+ PURECONTROL (for control merchants) and MESSI 16+ PUREAGILITY (for, er, Messi merchants).
I was offered the chance to test one of adidas' new line and after a bit of research decided against the Messi's (too narrow) and against the Purecontrol (had already reviewed an earlier model).
So the X16+ PURECHAOS' won by default and I was excited to read that they had been 'transformed into a Solar Red colour to represent the ultimate in speed'.
They were designed for players like Gareth Bale and Luis Suarez, but on a wet, cold and muddy night at McFettridge Park on Auckland's North Shore, were worn by the slowest member of Glenfield's Northern Premier League team.
Out of the bag, the boots caused a bit of a stir in the changing rooms. "Don't know if you can do those justice, Holloway," a cheeky voice bellowed.
But despite their solar red colour attracting unwanted attention in the warmup and sharply contrasting with my ideal boot colourtone, black, my first impression was that the pros of the PURECHAOS far outweighed the cons.
They were incredibly light, easily the lightest boot I have worn, and made me feel like I had an extra spring in my step (I didn't). But they were comfortable too and could easily be worn in a game, from the box, with no fear of blisters.
The boot's selling point is that they will make you faster. There is a Sprintframe outsole with 'strategically shaped studs to help aid your acceleration' and a one-piece dynamic Techfit compression upper which nicely moulds to the natural shape of your foot for a nice feel of the ball.
It also has a 'Purecut Sock System', which hides the laces to provide clean contact on the ball, but that didn't seem to prevent a bevy of scuffed shots at McFettridge.
If you're been watching the English Premier League lately, or the Olympics, you would have seen these boots everywhere. All the speed merchants seem to be wearing them, and for good reason - they are a great boot.
Their target demographic is definetly not ageing, traditional target men, but the boots definitely made me feel fast, despite the cat-calls from team mates to 'take the hand brake off'.
They retail for $500 which will price a lot of amateur players out, but if you're a whippy winger, or an electric striker, who's serious about footy and wants the best boots on the market - these are for you.
What: adidas X16+ PURECHAOS
How much: $NZD 500
Short summary: Incredibly light, comfy, built for speed.